Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Rhone

    My friends ask me why I continue to take these trips with U. of L.  They know that flying to another continent is expensive and that traveling is an ordeal.  My reply is that “it is nice to get away for awhile so that we appreciate what a good life that we have and it helps to break up the year.”  These river cruises are perfect for us because we are treated like royalty and half of the fun is to live like kings and queens, if only for a little while.  The Rhône was great because on every day on the cruise there was a new historical town to discover.  We saw the Roman amphitheater in Arles, the Palace of the Popes in Avignon, the Viviers cathedral that was built by the Romans, the Lyon cathedral which is a UNESCO World Heritage site, and the historical hospital in Beaune.  We came back to the ship in the afternoon so we had time to take in the sun on the upper deck of the ship.  It was the perfect trip for Tracey and me.

   We spent a week on Uniworld’s “S.S. Catherine.”  The ship was small enough for Tracey to memorize its floor plans so she had complete freedom and independence,  That means a lot to a blind woman.  On the other hand, the Palace of the Popes in Avignon was challenging.  There were many flights of stairs and they were of uneven height, the edges were worn down so they bowed in the middle, some steps were narrow while others were wide, some were steep while others were shallow, some had handrails and others did not.  Also, some of these old towns have been around forever and have been reconstructed many times so the surface of the streets alternated between cobblestone, asphalt, tile, and brick.  Tracey can navigate the tile easily but her cane became useless on the other surfaces.  A half day tour was about all that we were up for because of the ordeal of walking.

   I like to joke around with our tour guides whenever possible.  As part of our excursion to Viviers, for example, MaryAnne invited us into her house.  She said that even though we had a large group, everyone could take a restroom break because she had four bathrooms.  I smirked when I said, “Hopefully their isn’t any carpeting around the toilets.”  That joke landed flat so I tried gain.  As we were leaving I said, “You should check eBay in about two hours if you want to get your stuff back.”  I thought that I was hilarious but she remained stone-faced.  In Tournon, we took a walking tour with Pierre and as we passed the slaughterhouse he pointed out the heads of cows carved into stone and imbedded into the walls.  I said that the heads served as a warning to any passing cows that they should stay away.  Pierre didn’t laugh so I tried to sell the joke.  “You see, there wouldn’t be any loose cows walking around the middle of the city and that makes the joke funny.”  There still wasn’t a laugh so I tired again.  “A cow wouldn’t recognize its face carved out in stone because it is a cow.”  Finally, Pierre smiled, but it was more out of charity than because he liked the joke.      
   There were a lot of moments on this trip that made it special.  For example, it had rained for three solid weeks before we arrived in Arles but now the weather was perfect so parents took advantage of the sun by letting their kids play in the public square.  It was wonderful to hear the happy noises of the kids playing and laughing.  Another example was in Viviers where a woman teared up as she recalled how the guide had helped Tracey feel the altar in the cathedral.  Also, she was inspired by watching me guiding Tracey through the buildings and on the streets.  You just know that she is going to share the story of the blind woman to family and friends when she gets back home.  Of course, the nicest moment was celebrating Tracey’s 60th birthday.  Todor, the manager of the dining room, put up streamers, set out special plates, and blew up two big balloons which expressed a six and a zero.  I don’t think that I have ever seen my wife so happy as they served her a birthday cake with her name on it and popped the cork on a champagne bottle.  It was a wonderful evening, one that we will not forget for the rest of our lives.  

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Retreat letters for my children

 It took me a long time to write the senior retreat letters to my children.  Since it has been ten years since my youngest graduated, I thought that it might be a good idea to type up the retreat letters and post them to my bog so that others can enjoy them.  I copied the original, hand written, letters into my journal.


Dear Grant:

I want you to know, now that you are a senior in high school, you are everything that I could hope for in a son.  You SAT scores prove that you are smart, your years as a wrestler show your athleticism and dedication, and you are just an overall nice guy.  But believe me, it was a long and hard road to get you to be the person that you are today.

Your mother and I had been trying to have a baby for over a year and a half when we finally went to a fertility specialist.  After a series of tests and procedures, you were born, and our lives had irrevocably changed for the better.  I remember that when you were a baby you were just a helpless blob who “drooled like a madman.”  You put everything that you could get your hands on into your mouth.  Also, you were constantly sick; you were at the doctor’s office at least once a week for your first year of life.  It is my firm belief that you were worth every bit of love and effort that we put into you.

My happiest memories of you were when you attended Twinbrook Preschool.  You used to scream with excitement and beat on the big picture windows when you saw me coming up the sidewalk to pick you up.  Once I was in the building you would take my hand and guide me to your cubby so that you could show me all of the artwork that you had created that day.  Before we left to go home, your teacher would stop me to tell me about all of the cute things that you had done.  For example, you had a special towel that you used for a cape and you would put it on as soon as you got to preschool.  Just by putting on that cape you were no longer Grant Frazier but became “The Weatherman.”  I still don’t know why you picked that name.  Or do you remember the time when you pretended to marry Colleen and you two walked around, arm in arm, all day?”  I really miss those days.

Now you are all grown up and a senior in high school and I could not be prouder of you.  It reminds me of what God once said of Jesus: “This is my son with whom I am well pleased.”  It also reminds me of what the comedian, Bill Cosby, said of his son when the the boy was killed by a stranger.  Cosby said of his son, “He was my hero.”  I didn’t understand that statement but now that I have a grown son I totally agree with the sentiment.  You are my hero and I am pleased with the young man that you have become.

Strength and Honor,
Love,
Your Father 


Dear Lillian:

I cannot believe that it is already your senior retreat.  Time goes by so fast.  It seems like just yesterday that we took you to Twinbrook for day care.  You refused to wear anything but a pretty dress to school, even when it was freezing in the dead of winter, because you loved to twirl around and watch your dress float up.  Also, to accessorize, you always wore your flat-bottomed black shoes because of the “clip clop” sound that they made.  You were always my beautiful angel; perfect in every way.

Perfect, that is, until someone crossed you.  One time you came crying to me at the end of the day because a little boy had thrown dirt on your pretty dress.  I said, “What do you want me to do?  Go and beat him up?”  You replied with, “No!  I want you to shoot him with your gun.”  (This is funny because the only gun that I ever owned wasn’t real.  It was a replica from the Civil War and I used when I was a re-enactor).  On another occasion, I was on my way to work but you wanted me to play on your Pogo Stick.  When I said that I could do it because I would get all sweaty before work, you called me a “big sissy.”  (It was funny because it was so out of character for you)

I always knew that you were special but it was nice to have my opinion confirmed by others.  For example, I was so proud to watch you win the “Eagle Award” at Holy Trinity.  Also, there was the time that Mr. Collard said “my best little girl is up front” when he made you the line leader.  You have always been a great kid but it was gratifying to hear others say nice things about you.

In closing, I would like to paraphrase “The Grapes of Wrath.”  My apologies to John Steinbeck.

When you finish high school and move out of the house, I’ll be there.

When you go to college and need help with starting your career, I’ll be there.
   
I’ll be there when you get married and you need for me to give you away.

I’ll be there when you have children of your own and need a babysitter.  You know that I will
           always be ready to help.

And when you’ve married the man of your dreams and live in the house that you have bought, why I will be there, too.

I love you, Button!
Have a great retreat!
Dad



Dear Virginia:

I cannot believe that it is already your senior retreat.  It seem like just yesterday that I was picking you up from Holy Trinity’s after school care.  You were always running and playing but when you saw me you would yell “Daddy” and then jump up into my arms.  That was the gift that God has given you in that you were always in a good mood and you were always running and playing.  The only time that you stopped moving was when you were sleeping.

Virginia, you are our most emotional child in that you always wore your heart on your sleeve.  Do you remember crying out of happiness when you read your first sentence?  Or when you cried out of frustration when the birds kept flying away when all that you wanted to do was to pat them on the head.  And then there was the time when you cried out of sadness when we read “Of Mice and Men” and George had to shoot Lenny.  You cried out of fear when you saw the first born sons being killed in the mini-series, “Jesus of Nazareth.”  I love how passionate you are.

You have always had a positive mental attitude and a lust for life: eager to please and a ready smile on your face.  Virginia, I am sure that you are going to be happy no matter where life takes you.  My only advise to you, as you finish high school and move on to college, is to open yourself up to Christ.  Let him into your life and he will give you meaning and purpose.

In closing, it is my personal belief that heaven will be a loop of our favorite memories all strung together and played over and over again.  We have had memories that we can share in eternity.  Memories like dancing to “Fly Me to the Moon” in Cancun.  Or when we wrapped you up in a towel after you had taken a bath when you were a baby to make a “Virginia Burrito!”  Memories like playing with our dog, Laika, and then posting silly pictures of you two on Facebook.

Once I had to leave to go out of town and I asked you if you would miss me.  You said, “Of course I’ll miss you!  We are buddies!”  That statement meant the world to me.  You have always been a good daughter, and a good friend, and I am proud of the young woman that you have become.

I love you, Punkin.
Daddy

Friday, August 2, 2024

San Diego Comic Con

 Grant and I decided to go to one last comic con.  We have been doing the cons for almost ten years and have tired of them but, before we declared ourselves done, we decided to go out big.  The San Diego Comic Con is the original con and it draws about 130,000 fans.  Also, the writers strike came on the heels of COVID so this felt like the first time in five years that San Diego had a real con.  And because this was our last con, I spared no expense to attend it.  The tickets alone cost over $2,000 and then I had to pay for the flights, hotels, Ubers, and meals.  It cost a lot of money but the payoff was to see my son in his element where he was happy and truly excited to attend the meetings and tour the exposition.


Thursday: I picked up Grant at 4:30 am and we were at the airport 15 minutes later.  Our flight was supposed to leave at 6:00 but was delayed for six hours because o a maintenance issue and a part had to be flown in from Charlotte.  Of course, we missed our connecting flight and had to wait an additional five hours in the Dallas airport for the next available flight.  After almost 21 hours of travel, we arrived at the hotel at 10:00 pm (1:00 am eastern time), and we had lost a whole day at the comic con as we were originally supposed to land in San Diego at 11:30 am.

Friday:  We were supposed to see a panel on “The Boys” but missed it because I didn’t think that anyone would line up before 9:00for a panel that started at 10:00.  I was wrong and we arrived too late to get in to see the show.  I remained humble for the rest of the con and went where ever Grant wanted to go, when he wanted to go.  We saw Bill Amend who draws the “Fox Trot” cartoon.  He was nervous at first but lightened up as he told the story of how went from earning a degree in physics to becoming a cartoonist.  The second major panel that we saw was about “Like a Dragon” where the star was flown in from Japan and who didn’t speak any English.  He had an interpreter and sat in rapt attention when they played the trailer from his show.  Finally, the star took a selfie in front of the audience, and that reminded us that appearing at a comic con is as important to the star as it is to the audience.

Saturday: I started a routine of getting up at 4:30 to be in the gym by 5:00.  After lifting weights for an hour, I would sit in the breakfast room and wait for Grant.  We would leave the hotel at about 8:00 to get to the convention center in time to get in line for the 10:00 panel.  Saturday started with the stars of “Ghosts” and then we saw Matt Groenig, the creator of “The Simpson” and “Futurama.”  Up next was a panel on “Batman: The Caped Crusader” where all of the voice actors from the television show made an appearance.  Finally, we saw the artist who created the prosthetics for the many iterations of the “Star Trek” franchise.  This last panel was so good because the artist was so excited about his craft and so happy to show off his work.  I loved his enthusiasm.

Sunday:  Our first panel was about how Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko were the co-creators of Spider-Man, Ironman, and Dr. Strange.  They were as important as Stan Lee but were not so good at self-promotion so he got the lions’ share of the credit.  The next two panels the the voice actors and the musicians from “X-Men ‘97,” the “Star Wars” cartoon series, and “Arcane.”  There was a nice moment when one of the musicians broke down and cried as he talked about composing a song for a scene where a daughter was forced to leave her father.  The musician wept as he recalled how he had his own newborn daughter in his lap as he wrote the score for the scene.  She was perfect in her innocence and goodness, and he cried in the knowledge that this little bundle of joy would some day leave him.  I teared up as he wept while telling his story because I was thinking about how my own two daughters have left me to live in Texas.

Monday:  The convention was over but we had the morning to tour San Diego as I had booked an afternoon flight.  We did the “Hop On Hop Off” trolley and got off at the Hotel Del Coronado and the Japanese Garden.  Finally, we arrived at the airport at 12:30 for our 2:30 flight.  But when our flight was delayed by 45 minutes, we missed our connecting flight in Dallas by five minutes.  The airline put us up at a hotel and after sleeping for less than four hours, we went back to the airport for our 6:30 am flight.  I was so tired that I laid down on a table in the terminal and slept for an hour.  Usually I am all about decorum but I had no more gas in the tank.

This was a hard trip; not as hard as S.E. Asia but very difficult in its own right.  Once again, I had to ask myself, as I was trying to get some sleep while laying on an airport table, why on earth do I do this to myself?  The simple answer is that I do it for Grant because he enjoys these conventions so much.  And I could not have been prouder of him for the way that he carried himself.  He could have pitched a fit when we missed the panel on “The Boys” or cracked under the pressure of the ordeal of flying home, but he didn’t, while I lost my temper twice.  What made the trip worthwhile was to hear Grant describing the comic con to Tracey when we were at lunch yesterday.  He was happy and animated and excited to share our trip with her.  It was our last con together and, even with all of the problems that we encountered, I am still glad that we did it so that we could go out big.

Non Sequitar
1. For our last meal in San Diego we went to “The Old Spaghetti Factory” where an old woman in a wheelchair asked to sit outside.  The hostess tried to explain that the outside tables could only hold four people but, even though she had a party of five that included a wheelchair, the lady insisted.  It is people like that who must drive the staff crazy because they have set themselves up for failure and certainly will complain throughout the meal about being crowded.
2. When informed that we could not get on the plane for our return trip to Louisville, the lady behind us let out a cry and then began to sob uncontrollably.  She did it again when told that there were no more flights out that evening and that we would have to spend the night at a hotel.  A wheelchair was called for her and she collapsed dramatically into it.  Later on, she clung to Grant and me so that we could help her find her way to the bus, hotel, and the airport for the following day.  Clearly, she was not used to traveling by herself.
3. I like to chat up the Uber drivers in the hope that I can learn something from them.  We had drivers from Baghdad, Lebanon, and Mexico.  Harold was a candle and scent salesman while Van tried to convince us that the FBI was in on the plot to assassinate President Trump.  We didn’t try to argue with Van but let him rant for the whole trip to the airport.   
4. I became over-stimulated at the exposition.  It was over-crowded and the noise from the booths and the lights from displays were getting to me so I sat down in the common area just to calm down and read for awhile and Grant went shopping.  You have to pace yourself when you go to the comic conventions.   

Friday, July 12, 2024

High School Theater

    Joshua Chamberlain was going places and he knew it.  In fact, everyone knew it because he exuded a quiet confidence and intelligence.  He had come a long way since the fishing expeditions to Chickasaw Lake.  His mother had sponsored the local Boy Scout troop but by the time the boys had made it to middle school, everyone else had lost interest.  This is what made Josh special.  He continued with the program to become an Eagle Scout and earned a scholarship to the engineering program at the University of Tennessee because of his work in community service.  Josh dreamed of becoming an engineer at Zollicoffer Incorporated because it was the best and he made sure that he was on the right track to achieve his goal as soon as possible.  Tracey Cox, his high school history teacher, said “I never taught anyone who was so sure of what he wanted to be and who possessed the drive to get there in a few short years.”


   One of the ways that Josh committed his time to community service for the Scouts was by working in the theater at Farragut High School.  He liked to build things so he became a member of the stage crew.  By the time that his junior year, he became so adept at building the sets that Mr. Bragg, who ran the theater program, had tapped Josh to become the chief electrician.  He combined his passion for engineering with his need to volunteer be becoming responsible for hanging the klieg lights, wiring them, and then manning the stage lighting control panel and was the only person allowed to touch the switches and dials.  At a very young of seventeen, Josh was widely recognized as the quiet leader in the theater.  Unlike the actors, who always marched to a different drummer, David was respected because of his ability to construct the sets and doing the grip work of maintaining the lights.  Also, he was well liked because he wasn’t above doing the non-skilled jobs like spending his Saturdays building the sets and painting the flats.   

   Farragut High School had been built in the 1950s when there was no thought or budget for a theater.  The school improvised by making a micro theater out of a converted classroom, a closed off hallway, and an unused storage room.  The end of the long hallway on the third floor was sealed off and it became the backstage, the classroom was the main stage, and there were three rows of seats for an audience that could hold no more than one hundred people.  Everything in the theater was painted black;  walls, flooring, ceiling, even the seats were black.

   On the back wall of the improvised theater room was a large hole in the wall.  It had been cut out at the very top, right next to the ceiling, and a window had been jerry-rigged into it.  On the other side of that window was the converted storage room.  Mr. Bragg had a platform built up about five feet off of the ground so that he could watch the production without disturbing the audience members.  It was also built as a light booth for Josh so that he could watch the stage productions to control the lighting.  A path had been made from the door to the platform and, aside from that, the storage room served as a place to put all the props and costumes.  The cast and crew could see Josh and Mr. Bragg through that little window at any time during a production.
   
When the plays were being produced and the cast needed a place to change into their costumes and apply their make up, the adjacent classrooms were used as dressing rooms.  In theory, there was one dressing room for the boys and a separate one for the girls, but that rule was often ignored.  Literally, the cast could have spent the morning in science class and the evening getting dressed to star in the musical and it all happened in the same room.  The improvised theater was too small and completely inadequate for the job, but for the actors and stage crew, it was magical.

   The reason as to why the students liked the theater so much was that it provided an escape from home and school.  It gave them a cause and a place to hang out with like-minded people.  Josh came into his own in the theater because he felt needed and he really thought of the stage as a second family.  The theater was a safe place; it was like a protective cocoon because you weren’t involved with the stage production then nobody knew that you were a theater kid.  Josh spent every Saturday there and, when the production was getting closer to opening night, he spent every afternoon and many evenings there as well.  Sundays were for church and family.

   Clearly, Josh was never going to get along with the actors because they were all a little strange.  The boys, especially, were weird but there were several girls who were beautiful and Josh probably worked so many hours so that he could spend some time with them.  He made excuses to work on the sets or hang the lights when the actors were rehearsing.  On the weekends, when no one else was in the building, the theater kids had the whole school to themselves.  They felt like Farragut High belonged to them and them alone.  To add to the mystique of the theater, Josh had rigged up a little button to a wooden block and lowered it from outside of the third story window.  When the actors or stage crew wanted to gain access to the building where the theater was located, they pressed the button and a buzzer would go off in the light booth and Josh would run down three flights of stairs to let the actors in.  It was such a simple contraption but it made the theater kids feel like they were in some sort of clandestine secret society.  Josh acted as a security guard and he made sure that whoever wanted in to the building was a member of the cast or crew.  In effect, he was the bouncer who made everyone else feel safe inside of their theater home. 

   Mr. Bragg ran every aspect of the theater.  He was the A.P. English teacher for Farragut High School and he was known and feared for his quick wit and even quicker temper.  He was a small man, short and overweight, but built like a bullet with the same pent up energy.  Always dressed in slacks and a LaCoste alligator shirt; no one had ever seen Mr. Bragg him in jeans or even a tee shirt.  Over worked a full time teacher and running the theater program by himself, Mr. Bragg became bitchy when he was tired.  And he was always tired.  That is why he was never without a Diet Coke in his hand.  The constant flow of caffeine fueled his energy, especially after his classes had been difficult.  To make matters even more complicated, Mr. Bragg was a gay Black man in Knoxville, and he liked to say that he was one of two that existed in East Tennessee.  Really, though, the fact that he was a gay Black man did not factor into his relationship with his students or the cast; his color and his sexuality were beside the point.  What was remarkable about Mr. Bragg was his passion for his work.  He crackled with intelligence and talent oozed from every pore.  Every year he produced a drama in the Fall and a musical in the Spring and sometimes he produced a third play around winter break.  Some of the other teachers at Farragut wanted to act so the third play was produced without the students and sometimes Mr. Bragg would take a role.  When the school year was over, Mr. Bragg moved to New York for two months so that he could act in a summer stock production.  This endeared him to his students even more because it showed his commitment to his craft.  The highlight of his career was when one of his former students became a successful director and flew Mr. Bragg out to Los Angeles so that he could act in his new movie.  He only had one line but got to share some screen time with Harrison Ford.  

   A new production began with Mr. Bragg picking out what play he wanted to do.  He had to clear it with his principal, order the scripts, and then audition the cast.  The dates of the auditions were listed on the glass encased bulletin board that Josh had put up outside of the theater.  When the roles were assigned, the theater kids immediately knew that the list was up and they ran to theater hall to see if they made the cut.  There were both shrieks of happiness and tears of sadness at the sight of either being given a lead role or being assigned to the chorus line.  The early rehearsals were for the principles only but the whole cast would rehearse for the long sessions on the weekends.  Because the Saturday sessions went all day, Mr. Bragg had the actors do some warm up activities to loosen them up.  Everyone would lie on the floor and listen while Mr. Bragg lead them through some meditation exercises.  And yet, these were teenagers after all, and three of the prettiest girls at Farragut High School shared the lead.  They couldn’t help to think that Destiny Ryan was literally on her back and only a few feet away from them.  The girls liked the attention and made sure that heir hair and make up were done for the Saturday long sessions.  The stage crew worked in the early mornings and looked for reasons to hang around so that they might also steal a glimpse of the girls.  Josh had to shoo them away but did it gently because the crew was made up of volunteers and he couldn’t afford to lose them.  Irv McDowell was on the stage crew, although he and Josh didn’t recognize each other from their Camp Van Dorn experience together.  Meanwhile, Destiny looked like an angel to the stage but she was a senior and they knew that nobody in the theater had a chance to date her.  She only dated college boys now.
     After meditating, the actors broke out into groups, one to warm up their singing voices with the musical director in the hallway, another to practice improvisation with the acting coach in a classroom, while the third group, the principle actors, ran through their lines in the theater.  Fr. Jubal Early was present for the Saturday sessions.  He was friends with Mr. Bragg and helped out on the weekends by volunteering to videotape the rehearsals.  The recordings were made available to the cast and crew so that they could make adjustments after watching the tape.  Acting as the producer, Fr. Early organized the fund raising and paid the bills.  It was a thankless job but the priest did it because the theater, and his friend, needed him.  He raised and spent thousands of dollars and made sure that every penny showed up on the stage.  
   Mr. Bragg like to say that “No one sees us do our job; they don’t see the struggle, so they expect a lot from us.”  He would yell and throw tantrums but he got by with it because he productions were so professional.  All of his charges hated him and loved him at the same time; hate because he was so demanding and so loud, love because he made the actors proud of themselves.  There was almost a cult of personality around Mr. Bragg.  His laugh was uproarious and genuine, but he was a tyrant and his dark moods ran deep.  His actors and crew knew when to stay away from him, which was often.  If there were one example as to why the kids admired Mr. Bragg so much was that, on the weekends, after a long day of rehearsing, they would party at someone’s house.  At 10:00 or even 11:00 at night, they drove past Farragut High School and could see the lights on on the third floor.  They knew that Mr. Bragg, after the cast and crew had left, was still there, sewing the costumes or doing one of the other thousands of tiny things that needed to be done before opening night.  The story of the third story light made its rounds among the high school seniors and it only added to the esteem that the company felt for its leader.  A gay Black man in Eastern Tennessee had become a beloved role model for a bunch of white, middle class theater kids.
   Opening night was always the highlight of any production.  Josh had made sure that the lighting complete and the sets were built.  Fr. Early had the programs and tickets printed and there was even enough money left over to pay for the ushers to wear a tuxedo on the first night.  The cast had memorized their lines and thrown away their scripts because they weren’t needed anymore.  Several of the mothers had volunteered a couple of Saturdays to sew the costumes and they looked spectacular.  Now the moment had arrived.  The greatest compliment that Mr. Bragg could give the theater kids was “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a show!”  They had waited for weeks to hear it and, on the last night of dress rehearsal, Mr. Bragg beamed with pride as he said it.  Actors and crew puffed out their chests with pride and dreams of moving to Hollywood to become movie stars began to swirl in our heads. And then, when the production earned a standing ovation after the last act of opening night, Mr. Bragg turned to Josh as they were watching from the window box at the back of the theater, and he said, with tears in his eyes, “this makes it all worth it!”  Josh smiled but the two didn’t say anything for awhile, content to bask in the glow in all that they accomplished.  They knew that they still had six more shows and two matinees and could only hope that the company could keep their energy up for another two weeks

Thursday, July 11, 2024

Writing My Fourth Book

Why do I waste my time by writing a fourth book when I know that it isn’t very good, will have to be self published, and no one will read it? The first reason is because writing is a distraction for me. I like to write about a time that has nothing to do with today. The “before-times” are when I wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, and didn’t know that I was going to be a teacher. My fourth book is about Camp Tall Trees and I am writing it because it has nothing to do with my current life. It is like when I take long walks and listen to classic rock on my iPod. I don’t necessarily like the songs but will listen anyway because they don’t remind me of anything. There are no triggers to make me feel sad or regretful. Similarly, writing about the 1970s and 1980s, an era that has nothing to do with my current life, brings me peace by offering me a distraction.

For me, the act of writing is its own reward, even if I never get published. The is ironic because, for my whole life, I have been worried about money and wanted fame and I know that my writing will bring me neither of these things. Two of my favorite authors serve as examples for me. Anne LeMott has written over 30 books but said that she didn’t start making real money until her fourth book. This is discouraging because I am writing my fourth book, have no ideas for another one, so I know that there is no success waiting for me. Frustrated by a lack of sales, John Grisham threw a box load of his first book into a ditch. He was making a tour of bookstores, set up a table in the lobby to sign his latest novel, and no one was buying. It wasn’t until his third book was made into a movie that Grisham made it big. If these talented authors weren’t immediately popular then I really have no chance at a career at all.

Large sections of my current book are about Camp Tall Trees and Xavier University because I want to write about a time when I felt things deeply. I write from my emotional center from when I was very much alive. In the 1970s and 1980s I was a very angry young man and I want to remember those times when I was full of passion. However, I have to fictionalize everything because I don’t want to be sued for libel and because I have to simplify the story. I worked out at Camp Tall Trees for nine years and my book is about just one summer. If I don’t compress the events then the story would be too long and uninteresting. Similarly, I am taking the lives of dozens of people and attributing their stories to my three main characters.

Even though I know that my writing isn’t very good I will continue to do it. The reasons for soldiering on are that I find that I am in a better mood after writing. For me, the point is to be creative and to have something to pour myself into. It makes me feel alive. I love good writing and want to emulate my favorite authors like Shelby Foote and Paul Theroux. In a very small way, I want to contribute something to the literary community. Also, it gives me something to obsess over. I am always writing; it may just be in my head but it is always there. I find solace, pride, focus, challenge, and commitment in my writing. The next step for me is to find a writer’s workshop so that I can find ways of getting better at my craft.

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Camper at CTT 1970

 Book 4: Chapter 2: Section 2: Being a camper in 1970


   David’s mother agreed to drive George and Kevin out to Camp Tall Trees.  Since the commute was over an hour, she packed the car with some old comic books to keep the kids entertained.  This helped a lot, especially since they quickly drove out of range for the local radio stations and the and the only music that she had was Elvis.  Mrs Hubbard didn’t want to embarrass her son with her music so the four drove out to camp in silence.

   There was a quiet anticipation, a nervous expectation in the car as they were thinking of the week in the woods that lay ahead of them.  They drove past sites that were unfamiliar to them because they lived a sheltered life in the suburbs.  For example, there was an old cement factory which was not operating because the workers had been on strike for months.  Once they left the expressway the boys noticed that there were strip clubs and liquor stores at the end of the ramp.  They looked at each other, smiled shyly, and didn’t comment because they only had a vague idea of what you would buy at a liquor store or a strip club.  The pleasures of the flesh were still years ahead of them.  

   The interstate only took them to about half way to the camp and, for the rest of the way, they drove on the state highways.  If they boys had been self aware then they would have realized how privileged they were because the rural areas of Kentucky are filled with poverty and they passed one mobile home after another.  Also, there were a lot of dollar stores and pawn shops and used car lots.  It was only as they entered Otter Creek Park that the poverty of Meade County melted away.  It was like Oz by comparison to the rest of the county, with its pine tree lined road, public pool, and a boat dock that led right down into the Ohio River.  

   David’s mother followed the signs to Camp Tall Trees and the car full of boys drove into the camp’s parking lot.  They tumbled out of the car, collected all of their luggage, and made their way to the administration build to check in.  The first person who they met was Fr. Hemmerle.  He had set up a portable table and chair in the ad building and the campers had to check in with him before they were allowed to go to the cabins.  At first glance, he didn’t look like much, but everyone at Camp Tall Trees quickly came to the realization that the priest was the heart and soul of the place.  The only way that a visitor knew that he was a priest was that he wore the garb of a black clergy shirt and white collar at check in.  He didn’t bother to put on a pair of slacks or wear dress shoes because the camp was out in the middle of the woods where it was hot and everything got dirty very quickly.  As soon as the last camper had checked in, Fr. Hemmerle took off the clergy shirt to reveal that he was wearing his old shorts and a worn out tee shirt underneath.  To top off his outfit, the priest wore a pair of beaten up sandals.  No one could remember the last time he had bought a new pair of shoes or any clothing to freshen up his wardrobe.  He took some good natured grief about the holes in his shirts and shorts but Fr. Hemmerle simply pointed out that he was the only older man in camp and so everyone knew that he was the guy in charge.  Nice clothes or a new pair of shoes were just a vanity to this priest and were diametrically opposed to his ideas of being a humble servant teacher.  Besides, it was his camp; he ran the whole show and nobody was going to tell him what to wear.

   Once the campers had reached the front of the line they gave Fr. Hemmerle their insurance forms and the money that they would to use to buy snacks.  Since George, Kevin, and David were new to Camp Tall Trees, Fr. Hemmerle took a moment to size them up.  Most of the other campers who checked in earlier were veterans of Tall Trees and Fr. Hemmerle remembered their names.  In fact, he was so smart that he could not only remember the names of the campers from the previous year, he could remember the names of the campers from years ago when he was a seminarian.  Fr. Springman, who took over the camp with Fr. Hemmerle, said, in grudging admiration, “It’s a gift” to have a keen memory.  If he hadn’t been called to be a priest then probably Fr. Hemmerle would have had a great career as an actuary or a lawyer because he was that intelligent. 

   Now that the forms and the money was collected, Fr. Hemmerle assigned the campers their cabin for the week and told them who their chief, or cabin leader, was going to be.  At this point, Mrs. Hubbard said goodbye to her son and his two friends and, with that, their last connection to the outside world was severed.  Only when she was by herself, on the long drive back to Louisville, did Mrs. Hubbard allow herself a good cry because she knew that her only son had taken a huge step towards manhood and independence by attending his first overnight camp.

   The neophyte campers walked through Tall Trees slowly, trying to take in the place and to memorize the location of the most important buildings, like the bathrooms.  When they finally found their cabin, their leader for the week, or their “chief,” was waiting for them.  Wayne Hall was a high school senior, not too much taller than his campers, and prided himself with his athletic build and his long hair.  The three boys didn’t know it yet but they were lucky to have Wayne as their chief as he was always affable, patient, and known for his quick wit.  George, Kevin, and David were the last three campers to arrive at the cabin.  This was a rookie mistake because there were eight kids assigned to each cabin and the top bunks were quickly claimed by the first to arrive.  Now the three boys would have to take the bottom bunks which meant that their sheets or sleeping bag would be stepped on as the top bunk campers climbed over them.  Four of the other boys in the cabin were already friends from school and, after sizing each other up, the boys usually only talked to the campers with whom they were already friends.

   The memories of Camp Tall Trees would stay with the boys for a lifetime.  The sights, sounds, smells, and most importantly, the friendships that were bonded would always be with them.  One of the sounds, for example, was waking up in the morning and the first thing that they would hear was of Fr. Hemmerle typing the schedule for the day in the administration building.  He had an old Underwood typewriter, which was antiquated even by the standards of the camp, but Fr. Hemmerle liked it because it was reliable and if it broke then he knew how to fix it.  The keys pounded away on the paper as Padre personalized the daily schedule by using kitsch like, “David Hubbard to the bottom of the pool” when he announced the time for swimming.  As the “clackity clack” of the Underwood resounded through the upper and lower units of Tall Trees, Fr. Hemmerle liked to spruce up the schedule by adding cute remarks like “look for the lull in the day” or “the snipe hunt begins after rest period.”  The campers checked the schedule as soon as they left the cabin to see if their name appeared.  Fr. Hemmerle kept the original for his files and posted two carbon copies.  The problem was that the campers wanted a free souvenir so they kept stealing the schedule so a special box had to be built, with a plexiglass cover and hung on a wall, to stop the theft.  The kids could still see the schedule but they couldn’t steal the schedule.

   Spending a week out at Camp Tall Trees was like going back to another time.  The activities, the schedule, and even the ambiance of the place came right out of the 1950s. The first activity of every day, for example, was when all of the campers met in the parking lot for the flag raising ceremony.  Fr. Hemmerle picked a camper out at random to raise the flag and then everyone put their hands over their hearts as they recited the Pledge of Allegiance.  In fact, the whole camp had a militaristic bend to it.  For example, the time for a snack break was called “ canteen,” and they didn’t eat at a cafeteria but at a “mess hall,” and the bathrooms were called “latrines.”  The longest hike was call “The Death March of Bataan” and the counselors often referred to the campers as “maggots” as if they were in boot camp.  The most popular activity of the week was a giant game of “Hide and Go Seek” only the camp referred to it as “The Commando Raid.”  The counselors tried to get the campers excited about the game by saying that it was like conducting a raid behind enemy lines in WWII.

To reinforce the idea that the campers were living in the 1950s, on movie night a reel to reel
projector was set up so that the boys could watch old Disney movies like “Follow Me Boys,” “Flubber,” and “PollyAnna.”   The screen was a bedsheet that Fr. Hemmerle had hung up from the ceiling of the lodge.  Since movie night came at the end of hike day, the boys were so tired that they would have sat and watched anything, including a really bad and dated Disney movie.  Also, since the movie was shown in the lodge, which was not a big room and it immediately became hot with so many bodies in it, everyone was in a semi-comatose state as they turned into a sweaty mess.  And yet, because they were so young and impressionable, the memories of the movies would stay with them for a lifetime.  It was the same with the songs that they sung in the mess hall after dinner.  As with the movies, the idea was to give the campers some wholesome entertainment but also to imbue the kids with a sense of patriotism.  They sung about Johnny Tremaine, the Battle of New Orleans, and the “Reuben James” and the “Titanic.”  Years after their experience at Camp Tall Trees was over and they had become men, the memories of songs and movies that entertained them as preteens would come back from the deep recesses of their minds and were replayed without any warning or reason.  

        The least favorite activity of the week for the campers was hike day because many of them were not used to any form of vigorous physical activity.  And yet, as the years rolled by and they transitioned into men, it was the hikes that they would remember the best.  They felt like true explorers, in the back woods of Otter Creek Park, and thought that no one had trod on the beaten path that they followed.  What made an impression on George was when the hikers came across a defunct watch tower by the bend in the creek.  In the sunlight, the campers could see a huge web glistening and in the corner of that web was the biggest spider that the boys had ever seen.  It was the stuff that nightmares are made of and George would go on to see that spider in every dark corner in every room that he was in for years to come.  On that same hike they waded through creek water, trooped up hills, and had a picnic lunch of hot dogs and baked beans while sitting on the banks of the Ohio River.  For a bunch of kids who lived in the suburbs and who were rarely out of the air conditioning, hike day seemed magical when the time came for looking back.

   After the hike, the campers enjoyed an extended “rest period.”  The down time that they spent together was also among the camper’s favorite memories.  Gimp was the one craft that the kids could bring back to their cabin and they quietly wove together the strings.  There was a lot of card playing as well.  Sometimes, when they were feeling salty, the campers would insult each other and if it was a really good zinger then Kevin would put up a tally mark under the “Ace in the Whole” chart that he drew on the wall of the cabin.  The good natured ribbing would end when the boys cheered in unison, “Ace in the Hole,” as if insulting each other was a form of competition.  Also, because these were pre-teen boys, they found poop endlessly hilarious and their jokes often included the size, weight, and smell of the effort.  They could never talk about shit at home, not in front of their mothers or sisters, but in the secure confines of a cabin in the middle of the woods they could share their ideas on this most personal subject.

   The best campers were the ones who embraced their week at Camp Tall Trees, who wanted to win cabin of the week and tribe of the week.  They had a competitive drive and wanted to direct their youthful energy in a positive way.  They tried their best in every craft, tried to win every tournament, and sought to keep their cabins neat and tidy in order to get a good review so that they could win the “Cabin of the Week” prize.  The ideal camper avoided the drama of living with their friends without an adult in the room, kept their perspective by remembering that camp was only for a week, and they didn’t take it too seriously.  They excelled in the spirit of fun and were always excited about the next thing to come.  It was a good training ground for the campers to figure out who they were and it was a peek into how the kids would grow into adults.  For example, George was a guy with a lot of energy.  He wasn’t concerned with being popular but wanted to enjoy the experience and have a good time.  Kevin Hargadon and David Hubbard were the best of friends but they could not have been more different; Kevin was very laid back and nothing seemed to bother him while David was excited about everything and wanted to engage with everybody.  The two were inseparable. 

       Of course, the heart and soul of Camp Tall Trees was Fr. Hemmerle.  He had worked there while a seminarian in the early 1960s and then became the Camp Director in 1968.  It was a huge responsibility for a man who was so young but, since nobody else wanted the job and the old director, Fr. Schmidt, was ready to retire.  Fr. Springman who, like Fr. Hemmerle, was only 25 when he agreed to help start the camp but he firmly stated that he would only work for one summer.  Aside from the way that he dressed, one of the other quirks that Fr. Hemmerle had was that he had all sorts of sayings that he would quote out of context.  Or at least they seemed like they were out of context because they boys didn’t understand what they meant.  His favorite quote was “the less to say, the less to mend.”  At least that one made sense so the counselors and campers liked it.  Some of the other ones, like “when you lie down with dogs you will get fleas,” or “the game is not worth the candle,” or even “when you sow the wind, you reap the whirlwind,” made no sense at all.  The boys would just turn to each other and smile when Fr. Hemmerle let loose with one of these old chestnuts and the brightest of them learned how to parody the priest.  Some of the impersonations were so good that they would use the mimicry as a part of the weekly talent show.  The campers, counselors, and even Fr. Hemmerle really enjoyed the performance.

   Against type, one of Fr. Hemmerle’s favorite things to do was to go to the pool during the swim period and dunk his favorite campers.  The oldest campers, who were at the most fourteen years old, were his favorite targets because they were full of themselves and he wanted to take them down a peg.  Padre was really strong for someone so unassuming and the kids had a good, healthy respect for the man who was a priest.  All of that respect went by the boards when it came to dunking and the older kids tried to gang up on the priest.  Yet no one could ever remember a time when Fr. Hemmerle went under and this was partly because he didn’t stay in the water very long.  He became tired quickly and rather than risk his reputation of being undunkable,  he was usually the first one out of the pool.

   In any given week, there were over ninety campers at Camp Tall Trees and Fr. Hemmerle wanted each one of them to have at least one good memory of their week in the woods.  One of the ways in which he did that was having a mail call after lunch.  Padre made a big show out of sniffing some of the letters that he handed out to the campers as if they were perfumed.  He liked to pretend that the letters were from the campers’ girlfriend.  Everyone was in on the joke and it was all done in good fun.  Sometimes a camper would turn red in embarrassment and felt the need to explain that “It’s from my Mom!”

        Summer camp meant different things to different people.  George, Kevin, and David bonded over their camp experience.  When they got back home, the three shared told stories about camp to the extent that their friends and families grew tired of hearing about it.  With a wink and a nod, they recited inside jokes and stories to each other and would continue to do so for years after their camper experience was over.  But that was later.  They still had weeks left of summer once camp was over and George, David, and Kevin would spend that time, free from all responsibility before school started up again, by going fishing and dangling from Hellmeyer’s swing where the topic of conversation always drifted back to their week at Camp Tall Trees.

   Mrs Hubbard volunteered to pick up the boys from camp.  She looked at David with disdain and complained loudly that the camp was sending her son home dirty.  Fr. Hemmerle had said that the most common complaint from the parents was that their sons were smelly and sweaty and dirty when they picked them up.  However, Mrs Hubbard took this to an extreme when she picked up David’s clothes bag and claimed that she could smell the sweat and mildew emanating from it.  Rather than taking the clothes bag back home and washing the contents, she threw the duffle bag into the garbage before they even left the camp.  She promised her son that she would buy him all new clothes once they returned home.

   The car wasn’t out of the parking lot before the boys started to fall asleep.  It had been an exhausting week and the air conditioning acted like chloroform as they passed out for the hour long commute back to Louisville.  The three friends didn’t wake up until they pulled into David’s driveway and, as they did, they promised each other that when they were old enough they would go back to Camp Tall Trees as counselors.

Note:  This blog is to represent the ideal camper experience.  I will address all of the problems of being a camper and counselor at Camp Tall Trees in my later chapters.



Friday, June 14, 2024

35th Anniversary

      Hollywood has made a lot of movies over the years where the plot is about what happens to us after we die and the impact of old memories on our psyche, or our soul and spirit.  In the under-rated movie, “Solaris,” for example, George Clooney’s character is reunited with his long dead wife while he resides in a space station.  Rheya had killed herself a few years before and the two can only meet again while he is asleep and dreaming.  Along the same lines, in the movie “Star Trek Generations” Captains Kirk and Picard are trapped in a space-time continuum.  Kirk gets to ride his favorite horse from his childhood and Picard spends time with the nephew whom he has never met.  The two captains are promised eternal life where all they have to do is to relive their best memories.  Finally, at the end of the movie “Titanic,” Rose dies of old age and after her death she is transformed back into her teenage self and meets her lover back on the ship.  As you walk out of the theater, you are left with the impression that Jack and Rose will spend an eternity filled with love and happiness. 

   I wonder if this is what heaven is like.  The afterlife must be filled with the unmitigated joy that we have when we ride a horse for the first time or when we spend special moments with our family.  I wonder what my heaven will be like.  What memories do I want to spend eternity with and who will share those memories with me?  I guarantee that my dog, Sonnailles (pronounced So Nay) will be by my side.  I always had problems making friends while growing up so Sonnailles and I spent hours playing together in the woods behind our street.  There were many times when we went to Saint Matthews Episcopal Church because they had swings and a merry-go-round.  Sonnailles became my best friend because she was always so full of life and was always willing to play with me.  It is the image of a boy and his dog, whiling away the summer days with nothing to do but happily spending time together, that I would like to spend eternity with.
   
     Of course, there have been many happy memories since Sonnailles.  There was the night when I proposed to Tracey, for example, or the day when we were married.  Then there was the pure and blinding joy of watching my three children being born.  They have all three become fine adults so it is unexpected that my best memories of them is from when they were very young.  Grant was just a year old when we took him to the Ocean Ranch in Florida.  What made it so special was that the hotel made up some of my happiest memories as a child because that is where the Frazier family spent our vacations together.  Now I took my own son to those same sandy beaches where we took long walks together and, because he was so young, I hoisted him up on my shoulders and he held my hands for support.  Lillian is my second child and, whenever I had a day off from work, I liked to volunteer to read to my children’s class at Holy Trinity.  After I had finished reading on one of my visits, I remember Lillian and her best friend, Sarah Humphrey, dancing and laughing while they spun around me.  Lillian was so proud and happy that I was her father that she expressed her love through dance.  It was a beautiful moment.  And then there is Virginia, who always wore her heart on her sleeve and who would launch herself into my arms when I picked her up from after school care.  She would enthusiastically yell “Daddy!” and then wrap her arms and legs around me tightly.  It made my day.  I love my wife and children so much that it only makes sense that my happiest memories revolve around them.  It is with these memories that I want to spend my eternity.
   
     I have always believed that it is the small moments in life that makes it worth living.  These moments are not isolated from our daily existence but are melded together by the days of our lives.  It is like a string of Christmas lights, strung together by special moments and the wire is the continuum of our time together.  And so my heaven will be those lights and they will replay in a loop throughout eternity.  Slowly, the image of trailblazing with Sonnailles in the woods will come shining through.  And then I will remember leading the hikes and becoming the head lifeguard while working as a counselor at Camp Tall Trees.  My proudest moments at Sacred Heart was when the kids cheered for me at the student versus faculty volleyball game.  Finally, there is my family and the joy that Tracey and I shared together as I asked her to marry me at the Falls of the Ohio.  I chose that spot so that she could remember the sound of the water going over the Falls and that sound would always trigger happiness in her.  I remember that everyone was amazed that we memorized our wedding vows to each other at the alter of the Church of the Ascension.  We recited them in front of three hundred of our friends and family members and it was the best wedding ceremony that there ever was.  And then there is the image of me holding my three children after they were born at Norton Children’s Hospital.  As babies, they were so helpless and so completely dependent on us and so beautiful.  It has been rewarding to watch Grant, Lillian, and Virginia, grow up to be adults who are strong and proud and smart.  And then the loop starts all over again as I am running through the woods with Sonnailles right beside me and we …    


Note:  the intended audience for this blog is my wife.  As  part of my gift to her for our 35th wedding anniversary, I will read it out loud to her to celebrate our marriage.  She will cry and I will be happy as we share one more small moment that makes life worth living

Rhone

     My friends ask me why I continue to take these trips with U. of L.  They know that flying to another continent is expensive and that tr...