The Body Keeps the Score

         I read “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk because it has been on the New York Times best seller list for so long.  It is not the type of book that I would usually read but I decided to give it a try because I want to learn more bout myself.  Some of the passages hit me so hard that I wrote a blog entry about it.

        The key issue of the nature of the parent-child relationship is how parents felt about, and interacted with, their kids.  Did the parents fail to greet their kids when they had been away?  Did their parents’ faces never light up when they looked at them.  A mother who was too depressed to notice them.  A father who treated them like he wished they had never been born.

        The children of unpredictable parents often clamored for attention and became intensely frustrated in the face of small challenges.  These are the people who felt unwanted as children and don’t remember feeling safe with anyone while growing up.

        Some kids’ disturbing behavior started out as frustrated attempts to communicate distress. When they walk around projecting the message “Don’t mess with me,” they are not likely to be bothered.  Some people don’t remember anybody with whom they felt safe.  For them, engaging with dogs may be much safer than dealing with human beings.  Managing your terror all by yourself gives rise to another set of problems: dissociation, despair, addiction, disconnections and explosions.

        It is common for traumatized people to lose all memory of events in question only to regain access to them in bits and pieces at a later date.  Memories that you experience are not something with a beginning, a middle, and an end but rather in fragments of sensations, images, and emotions. Flashes of images that keep flooding into the mind and they can’t be stopped.  People who suffer flashbacks often organize their lives around trying to protect against them.  They may compulsively go to the gym to pump iron or they may numb themselves with alcohol.  

        Many mental health problems, from drug addiction to alcoholism, start as attempts to cope with the unbearable physical pain of of our emotions.  Alcoholism starts off as attempts to cope with emotions that became unbearable because of a lack of human contact and support.

        Almost all mental suffering involves either trouble in creating workable and satisfying relationships or difficulties in regulating arousal, as in the case of habitually becoming enraged or overexcited.  Friends and family members can lose patience with people who get stuck in their grief or hurt.  No one is interested in the bad news that they have to report.  They often survive with resigned compliance.

        There are many split off parts in the human psyche that were created in order to survive so that your undamaged self can emerge.  Managers, for example, prevent humiliation and abandonment to keep the person organized and safe.  Managers who are obsessed with power are usually created as a bulwark against feeling helpless. They are not emotionally available. Firefighters will do anything to make the emotional pain go away and protect against self harm. Exiles are rejected, weak, unloved, and abandoned children.  Keeping exiles hidden prevents intimacy or joy.  The critic criticizes others; they want to hurt others first so that the other doesn’t dare to hurt them.  The critic is protecting the self from hurt and humiliation.  They are perfectly put together by a scathing inner critic.  

In conclusion, I recognize myself in a lot of these passages.  “The Body Keeps the Score” reminds me a lot of the psychology class that I took as an undergrad in that what it stated should be obvious. I just needed someone to point it out to me.  

Australia

         It all began with the QR code.  We checked into American Airlines for our trip to Australia and the lady at the counter said that we needed a visa before she could let us on board.  This has happened before so we knew that it was a simple and easy process.  I down loaded the app, applied for a visa, and almost immediately received a registration number but the lady insisted that Australia would email a QR code to me and that in order to get on the plane, she needed to scan that code.  We waited for over two hours and the code was not sent to us.  The plane took off without us and we went home.

        Tracey immediately called Norwegian when we arrived home and they said that we could meet the ship in Melbourne.  We would miss the first couple of days on the cruise but could still enjoy some of our vacation.  I booked a flight with Delta, avoiding American Airlines with the thought that they had given us some bad information.  Sure enough, the attendant from Delta barely even looked at our registration number and we were allowed on the flight.  When we arrived at the pier in Melbourne I found myself looking wide-eyed over the horizon, searching for our ship, as I had visions of strawberry daiquiris dancing in my head.  Only there was no ship.  The security guard at the pier said that Norwegian had cancelled the port in Melbourne due to inclement weather.  We called for an Uber and went back to the airport.

         So there we are, stuck at an empty pier with no phone service and no internet.  However, we had a Christmas angel on this trip.  Tom was an eighteen year old waiter who worked at a restaurant on the pier. He allowed us access to his hotspot and then generously handed over his phone for us to use.  Without that phone we literally had no way of getting an Uber or contacting Norwegian to ask them to buy us tickets for our flight home.  We were on Tom’s phone for at least two hours trying to figure out what our next move should be.  I assured him that, as we were using an 800 number, there would be no charge for our call to his phone, and then I slipped him a twenty dollar bill for helping out two strangers who were clearly in dire straights. 

        Our second Christmas angel was Peter, who manages the emergency phone calls for Norwegian.  The two hours that we spent on Tom’s phone was spent to ask Peter how we could get out of the mess that we were in.  He said that the ship had been diverted to Wellington and there were no flights available to meet our ship because it was only in that port for one day.  If we had only known that then we could have as easily flown from Louisville into Wellington as we did to Melbourne.  Peter promised to follow up with our case in the new year and told us to make detailed notes and to keep all of our receipts for when we filed a claim.  All that we were asking for was a reimbursement for the part of the cruise that we missed because Norwegian didn’t inform us of the change in the route.  Peter said that it was likely that we would get a refund and he booked us on a flight back to Louisville.

        Another Christmas angel was Natalena, the Qantas attendant at the Melbourne airport who arranged our seats back to the U.S..  She took our case seriously, labeling it as an emergency, and ignored the long line of people behind us.  “Don’t worry about the line,” Natalena said.  “We take one customer at a time.”  She gave us the best seats available, kept our layovers to a minimum, and made sure that our account was labeled “special needs” because Tracey is blind.  Tom, Peter, and Natalena were just three of the many angels on this trip who showed us small acts of kindness because we were clearly a couple in distress.    

        Actually, if it weren’t for missing the ship, we had a pretty good trip.  We saved $2,000 per ticket on our flight to Melbourne by having a day’s worth of layovers in Atlanta and Los Angeles.  Also, I thought that it would be better if we were in transit rather than sitting around the condo and feeling sorry for ourselves while waiting two days for the ship to arrive in Melbourne.  While in Atlanta we visited the Martin Luther King National Historic Park which features his grave and a large reflection pool.  Tracey was able to feel the wheel of the wagon which carried MLK’s coffin and the bullet hole in the pew where his mother was shot and killed.  While in L.A., we took a tour of the homes of the stars, like Taylor Swift and Paul McCartney, and the Santa Monica pier.  

        A trip like this is enough to tear apart even the strongest of couples so I am proud of the fact that Tracey and I didn’t turn on each other.  There was no permanent damage to our marriage.  The only thing that we really lost is time as we expect for Norwegian to refund at least part of our money for sending us to a port where the ship didn’t dock.  Also, we have several more trips planned through Norwegian so, while we are disappointed, it wasn’t a trip of a lifetime like it would be for a lot of couples.

NYC and Boston

 .Wednesday, November 26: “Boston”

        I like doing the short, intense trips by myself because I like to cram as much as possible into one long weekend.  My flight arrived in Boston at noon and I was at the John F. Kennedy Library and Museum by 1:15.  Unfortunately, the staff had posted a sign stating that the museum was closing at 2:00 because of the Thanksgiving holiday, so I had to race through the exhibits.  I took a lot of pictures and posted them on Facebook to make it look like my trip to the library was a lot more fun than it actually was but, really, the Kennedy Museum was a big disappointment.  They had a mock up of the Oval Office, for example, but it was made up of reproductions.  When I asked a member of the staff what I should see before I left he pointed to a coconut that JFK had written on so that a native in the Pacific could carry it to civilization to ask for help after his ship was sunk.  You hate to compare but main attraction at the Reagan Museum was the real Air Force 1 while the Kennedy Museum had a coconut.

        You can sit around and curse the gods when things don’t go your way or you can make the most of the time that has been given to you.  I checked into the hotel early to drop off my bag and then took a long walk around the Boston Common because the weather was so nice.  It was actually 60 degrees in Boston in November so I took advantage of the weather.  The glass is half full.  

Thursday, November 27: “Ground Zero and Freedom Tower”

        I left my hotel at 5:30 am to ride the 6:00 train to New York.  It was Thanksgiving and I find the train to be so relaxing.  The bad news was that Google maps took me to a dead end at the Boston station.  The entrance to Amtrak was three stories up; meanwhile I was cornered on three sides and if someone wanted to rob me at this dead end street then I could not have run away.  “What am I doing?” I thought to myself.  “I’ve got money!”  The criminals, or murderers, wouldn’t realize what a catch they had because I always dress down when I take these backpack trips and look like a bum.

        After three hours on Amtrak I arrived at Penn Station.  My intent was to watch the Macy’s Parade for awhile and then walk to the Freedom Tower but when I emerged from the station I was overwhelmed by what I saw.  There were unruly crowds who didn’t like being forced to stand behind the barricades and the police were yelling at them to stand back.  I could see the floats and balloons in the distance, and the staging area for the marching band was right in front of me, but I decided not to stick around.  It was freezing cold and the wind whipped between the buildings.  Also, there were emergency vehicles and helicopters everywhere.  It wasn’t like you would see on television with lots of happy people enjoying the moment.  It was a zoo and I was fine with leaving early.

        I walked three miles to the Oculus Transportation hub where I met my tour of the One World Trade Center.  Since I had left the parade early I had plenty of time to explore the Oculus, which houses twelve subway lines and seventy retail stores.  I had never even heard of the Oculus before but it is a marvel of engineering.  After my tour I went to the One World Observation deck, which is located at the top of the One World Trade Center, or the Freedom Tower and has a 360 degree view of New York City. 

Friday, November 28: “The Met”

        I left the hotel before dawn so that I could take pictures of Rockefeller Plaza while the lights were still on.  Passing the spot where the crowd was lined up to be on camera where the “Today Show” is shot, I walked through Central Park to get to The Met for a tour of the art work.  In what was a nice moment, I sat and watched the dogs playing in the park.  They are allowed to be off the leash before 9:00 and it was fun to watch them playing catch with their owners and being scrappy with the other dogs.

        Arriving at The Met an hour before it opened, I wasn’t feeling well but thought that if I could just sit down, in the sun and out of the wind, then I could power through the morning.  I was wrong.  My stomach was upset and I could feel the blood leaving my face and I felt like I was going to pass out.  And then I threw up on the stairs at the entrance to The Met.  After that I started to feel better, especially after I sat inside for an hour after the museum opened and warmed up.  The Met offers free tours so I attended the “Arms and Armor” tour and another one on “The Art of China.”

        I walked back to the hotel via Fifth Avenue and that alone was quite an experience.  It seems everyone was shopping over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend so the crowd was packed like sardines on Fifth Avenue, the difference being was that the crowd was moving.  There were a lot of small moments that made a big impression on me, like the man who picked up his dog and carried it on his shoulders because the dog had become overwhelmed by the crowd.  So there I am, walking face to face with a dog in Manhattan.  Then there was a woman turned around with excitement and fun filling her eyes, until she realized that I was behind her and not her partner.  Suddenly the smile was gone and her look turned hostile.  An old woman came barreling out of Saks and walked right into me.  She rolled to one side, never looked up from her iPhone and never bothered to apologize.  It was like that for almost the whole length of Fifth Avenue but I also noticed that the streets were filled with Blacks and Whites and Asians and Muslims and Hindus. Where else but New York City could such a disparate group of people live and work in the same community.   

Saturday, November 29: “The Gilded Age Mansions”

        Once again, I left the hotel before dawn so that I could take pictures  of Times Square while the lights were still on.  This was my last day in Manhattan so I didn’t want to waste time in a restaurant but instead bought a box of candy and a Pepsi and started to walk.  I walked a total of 12 miles.  This is not the trip for everyone but I enjoyed myself immensely.

        The High Line is an urban hiking trail that is situated on an old, elevated railroad track.  I learned about it from my cab driver and decided that I had to see it before I left.  It was wonderful because the trail includes tall pampas and switchgrass, as well as shrubs and trees.  Blended in with the landscaping was artwork and spectacular views of the city.  I had to remind myself that I was in lower Manhattan.

        My final activity on this trip was a tour of the Gilded Age mansions.  It was fine for what it was but the guide kept name dropping to the point I couldn’t keep the stories straight between the Rockefellers, Fricks, Carnegies, Belmonts, Dukes, and the Astors.  We saw a lot of mansions, but only on the outside, so I didn’t get a lot out of the tour.

Sunday, November 30: “The Flights Home”

        I knew that this was going to be a tough travel day because it had already been announced that this day was going to be the busiest day in the history of the airlines.  The dark forebodings continued as I received an email the night before my flights that Chicago had a snow weather warning.  So I arrived at the airport early as I wanted to be extra cautious.  Also, I was worn out physically because I walked twelve miles yesterday, which I did on purpose knowing that I would be doing a lot of sitting today and I needed a well of patience.  

        My plane was supposed to take off at 10:00 am but sat on the tarmac for at least an hour and a half waiting for an “all clear” from Chicago.  As was predicted, we were snowed out of the Windy City.  Our pilot said that our flight could be delayed by 20 minutes, or two hours, or the flight might be cancelled.  Then the pilot told us that we were going back to the gate to avoid the three hour rule, which meant that the airline could not keep us waiting on the plane for more that three hours.  Just as he was turning the plane around, Chicago cleared us for take off.

        My connecting flight to Louisville at 2:50.   We landed a little after 2:00 and I thought my chances of making my flight were pretty good but then the taxi to the gate took a half hour and I saw my chances of making my flight dwindle.  I arrived at connecting gate at 2:50 according to my watch  but then I realized that we were on central time, so I had a full hour.  As it turns out, I had nothing to worry about as my flight was delayed three separate times for a half hour each.  At least I was able to get home; I would have bet big money that I would be spending the night in Chicago.

“Conclusion”

        Travel makes me happy.  It was fun just to walk in the sun on Fifth Avenue with the crowd and the traffic to distract me.  I like the syncopated rhythm of all of the people and vehicles going about their daily business.  This is why I could never vacation on a beach: I draw my energy from being in a crowd.  By the end of this short but intense trip, I felt satiated.  Travel also reminds me of how good I have it.  I could  never live in Boston or New York because they are too crowded, there is too much noise and too much traffic.  I am happy in my little condo in Louisville.  

        All of the lessons that I learned from travel bore fruit on this trip.  For example, always arrive early. I sprinted from the airport to the Kennedy Museum only to find that it was closing early.  If I hadn’t arrived early then I would have missed it entirely.  Another lesson is to be flexible.  Once I realized that I would be standing with an unruly crowd in freezing weather for the Macy’s Parade, I dumped that activity and moved on.  Finally, I have learned to enjoy the small moments, like watching the dogs play in Central Park or walking the trail on the High Line.

Japan

       Japan has always loomed large in my imagination.  My father was sent there from the Korean War to recover from a debilitating skin infection.  He flew to Japan at least once a year to sell them transportation on his barge line company and would often bring back trinkets to give to us.  I sold metal to Japanese companies while working for Metal Sales and James Clavell’s “Shogun” is one of my all time favorite historical novels.  Finally, I have read Ian Toll’s exhaustive trilogy on the war in the Pacific three times and the author gives background on the Meiji Restoration, the Russo-Japanese War, and the Imperial Japanese Empire that took over most of East Asia.  So we flew to Japan to feed our intellectual curiosity and to go on a new and exciting adventure.

Thurs, Oct 16: “The Flights”

   It was a flawless day.  We flew out of Louisville at 7:30 am, had no layover time in Dallas, and it only took 26 hours to get from our condo to our hotel in Seoul.  Our time on the plane went by so quickly because I was able to watch season two of “The Last of Us” and season three of “The Game of Thrones.”

   There was a lot of pressure on this trip because of the time, expense, and mental energy required for it to go well.  Tracey and I did everything possible to prepare for being gone for three weeks.  We had to figure out how to dress for the weather, stock up on medications, collect tip money, remember to bring the coasters and business cards to give away, do enough laundry and then pack it, and we renewed our passports.  Finally, I had recorded a lot of shows from NPR on my iPod because we don’t get the internet on the ship and I need something to listen to at night so that I can sleep.

Friday Oct 17, 2025: “The Bus Ride”

   Our flight landed in Inchon at 3:30 pm and, because of the heavy traffic, it took us two hours to drive to Seoul.  We went straight to bed and I think that is why we didn’t have any problems with jet lag.

   I am proud of us.  Travel is hard, expensive, and it takes a lot of organization.  And it could be a marriage breaker.  At one point we had to eat McDonalds at the gate, in our seats, because there was no table service.  I asked Tracey, “can you image our parents doing this?”  And she replied, “not without a lot of complaining!”  Yet we have the money, a small condo, and no pets or any responsibilities.  We live for these trips.

Saturday Oct 18: “Seoul”

   We usually go through the cruise ship to order our excursions because it is easy and the guides had already been vetted.  Since that option wasn’t available for Seoul, we used “Tours by Locals” for the first time.  We have to have a guide because I don’t know what I am looking at and cannot describe it to Tracey.  We had only one day in Seoul so I was fine with splurging and spending the money for our own personal guide.

   Denny was perfect.  He spent eight hours with us without a break.  We saw the flower gardens at the Jogyesa Buddhist temple, the changing of the guards at the Royal Palace, a real ship from the Korean War at the War Museum, and the only traditional houses left in Seoul at the Hanok Village.  At the end of our tour I gave Denny a large tip and he said “are you sure you want to do that?  You have already paid so much for this tour!”  You have to love the guy.

Sunday, Oct. 19: “Embarking on the Norwegian Cruise Line Spirit”

   We boarded the bus in Seoul at 10:00 am and were on the “Spirit” by noon.  Tracey bought the alcohol package so we started drinking immediately.  My happy place is at the “Windows” restaurant where I had at least two mimosas at breakfast.  I have day dreams about sitting in this restaurant, staring out the window, and having a long dinner with my wife while drinking wine.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  

   As soon as we finished our daily excursions then I would go to the atrium and have a couple of strawberry daiquiris.  Tracey’s happy place is at the “Biergarten,” or the bar on the 13th floor, where she can smoke and drink freely.  One of the main reasons as to why we take these trips is because Tracey can have complete independence on the ship.  She usually finds a couple of smoking buddies to help her pass the time.  These trips have given her a lot of confidence because she doesn’t need me or anyone else to help her find the room and bar and restaurant.    

Monday, Oct. 20: “Jeju, Korea”

   Jeju is the Maui of South Korea.  The geography is very distinct in that it has volcanic mountains all around, then terraced fields, then houses, and finally rice paddies.  We saw a Buddhist temple and a thatched roof village.  There wasn’t a lot to this excursion but that is alright; we can’t expect a great day like the one that we had in Seoul every day.  Our trips go so well because we know what we want and we keep our expectations low.  Having a blind wife means that our needs are different from the other passengers.  All that we ask for is a good guide who will talk to us and a reserved seat at the front of the bus so that we can hear.

   Tracey and I are experienced travelers now and we have learned some valuably lessons from our many trips, like how to pace ourselves on a three week trip to Japan so that we don’t burn out early.  Other lessons include to always get to the departure point early, visit the bathroom. whenever there is one is available, always carry water, listen to directions and don’t question them, and always take the time for a big breakfast with a lot of coffee.  These simple rules will make your trip go so much better.   

Tuesday, Oct 21: “Nagasaki”

   We started out our day at the Suwa Shinto Shrine which features a 277 stone step staircase leading up the mountain and dedicated to the spiritual force of valor and duty.  The highlight of the day was visiting the Peace Park which features a 31 foot statue that symbolizes eternal peace.  Included at the park is a memorial that has the names of all people died from the atomic blast etched in stone.  What made the morning fun for me was to fist bump a group of middle school students who were just arriving at the park as we were leaving.  Tracey called me a “weird American” for doing this but I think that our ancestors would like the idea of the “tall, white, blue eyed devil” making nice with the Japanese youth.

   Our tour included a traditional Japanese meal included rice, salmon, noodles, and a bunch of side dishes.  I was trying to be a good tourist to Japan so I tried a little bit of everything even though I often didn’t know what it was that I was putting into my mouth (gyoran or fish eggs).  Tracey and I are not foodies and are reluctant to try new things but apparently a lot of people tour foreign countries just to try the food.

Wednesday, October 22: “Matsuyama”

   Ko Kira Castle is just one of the 12 surviving pre-Edo period castle towers and is known for its defensive layout. The Akama Jingu Shrine is located on the island of Shikoku and was built to honor the six year old Emperor Antoku.  The shrine is known for its striking red roofs and a large white base.  The Chofu Gardens are built in the kaiyu style where a visitor can walk around the pond and enjoy the scenery of the tea houses and a waterfall.  

Thurs, Oct 23: “Izumo Shrine and Taisha Treasure House”

   The Izumo Shrine is on the main Japanese island of Honshu.  It is believed to be the oldest shrine in Japan and is dedicated to the god of marriage, Okuninushi, who is also considered to be the creator of Japan.  Taisha (Great Shrine) Treasure House contains cultural assets like swords, mirrors, and masks.  It is famous for its many stone lanterns that lead up to the shrine.     

Friday, Oct. 24: “Kanazawa”
Kanazawa Castle began construction in 1583 and has been partially restored.  It is known for its horizontal lines on the roof gables and the carved wooden decorations underneath.  Kenrokuen Gardens is noted for its beauty across all seasons and includes meandering paths, a large pond, and several tea houses.  It had Banzai Tress fitted with electrical umbrellas to keep the snow off off of the branches because heavy snow would make the branches break off from the trees.  Eight gardeners and 200 assistants full time, every day.  Our guide, Michko, gave us an almost private tour of the gardens for an hour and a half.

Saturday, Oct. 25: “Niigita”

   The Northern Cultural Museum contains the mansion, gardens, and houses of the wealthy Ito family.  After our tour we went to the Saki Factory where we sampled their products and picked up faux bails of rice.  It was pure schtick but was still a lot of fun.  

Sunday, Oct. 26: “Sapporo”

   This was our only stop on the northern island of Hokkaido.  We went to a fish market and the overlook of Sapporo.  Also, we went to a subterranean mall, located under the t.v. tower, where we were the only white people.  It was fun to people watch and I noticed that the Japanese were so much better dressed than their equivalent in the U.S. 

Monday, Oct 27 and Tuesday, Oct 28: “At Sea”
   

       We hade two days at sea; one was planned but the other one occurred because the high winds made it impossible for us to dock at Hakodate.  We didn’t mind the cancellation because they treat us like royalty on the ship and we can eat great food and drink daiquiris all day.  We spent our days playing trivia, watching the old Asians shake their butts at the dance classes, and hanging out in the lounge.  I convinced Tracey to enter a cake decorating contest against the cruise director and the head chef.  She did surprisingly well and at the end of it I said into the microphone, “Let’s give it up for the Blind Lady and the Ironman!”  We received a round of applause and got a lot of knowing looks from the rest of the passengers for the rest of the cruise.  Like Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, I think that we do Jeff and Tracey really well. 

Wednesday, Oct 29: “Nagoya”   

   The Nagoya Castle was built in 1612 by the Tokugawa clan but was destroyed in WWII.  It has been since rebuilt and is known for its golden roof ornaments.  The Hommaru Palace was meticulously restored and reopened in 2018.  The palace is sacred so we had to take off our shoes and Tracey had to have her cane cleaned before we were allowed entry.  The only mishap in our three weeks in Japan is when we became separated from the group and I couldn’t find the damn bus when our tour ended.  We took a cab back to the ship.

Thursday, Oct. 30: “Osaka”

   The Osaka Castle is special because of its impressive defensive design with its moats and gardens.  It is known for its towering white walls and golden roof decorations.

   We were about 20 minutes into the drive to the Osaka Castle when the driver had to turn around to pick up a couple of late passengers.  When we got back to the port, one of the women boarded the bus and announced, “I am not going to apologize.  Norwegian gave us the wrong starting time.”  We all knew that it was a lie because Norwegian is meticulous about the times and they are printed on every ticket.  Later, as I was walking to meet the bus for the departure time, a woman was walking in the wrong direction.  She said “you stole forty minutes from me this morning so I am going shopping now and I won’t be rushed.”  She went back to get some ice cream and ate it on the bus.

   The group of about fifteen tourists met Mariko outside of a temple.  The idea was to walk back to the bus together.  At one point I turned around to find that none of our group was with us.  Mariko went to find them and didn’t come back.  Tracey and I took the wrong way back to the bus so we were late.  I was so angry and frustrated that I addressed the group.  “What the hell,” I said.  You abandoned us!  You have to stay with the guide!”  What I wanted to say was “how tough could it be to keep up with a blind woman and a 70+ year old guide!”  They reacted like a group of school children who could not possibly be held accountable for their actions.  

Friday, Oct 31: “Shimizu”    

   We started our day at the Shimizu Visitor’s Center because it has a great overlook to view Mt. Fuji but it was so overcast that we could not see the famous mountain.  Chica was our guide and she helped Tracey feel a 3D map of Mount Fuji.  The next stop on our excursion was to visit the chopstick workshop where they had us sand and polish a set of chopsticks.  It didn’t make any sense to do this because the chopsticks were already completely finished but Chica was stalling for time.  Finally, we went to the Kunozan Toshigo Shrine but Tracey didn’t want to climb the 150 stairs to get to the top because they were steep, uneven, and made of slippery stone.  I got about half way up before I could feel the strain on my knees and I became out of breath.  I said to myself, “I’ve seen a shrine before,” and retreated back down the stairs.  

   My analogy towards these excursions is that it is like playing poker.  “You push your chips into the middle of the table and play the cards that have been dealt to you.  Sometimes it is a pair of sevens but other times it could be a full house.  Each round is unpredictable and that is what make it fun.”  So my low expectations for Shimizu were barely met.  A pair of sevens.  My thought was “that is alright because tomorrow we will be in Tokyo and that is a guaranteed full house.”              

Saturday, Nov. 1: “Tokyo”

   It was the perfect day for Tokyo: we had a great guide (Miwi), it was sunny and warm, and we had a lot of interesting things to see.  It doesn’t get any better that this.

   The Meiji Jingu Shinto shrine is dedicated to the deified spirits of the Emperor Meiji and Empress Shoken.  It is a popular place for traditional Shinto weddings.  Also, the 3, 5, 7 rule means that parents are expected to bring their children to the shrine when they are three years old, then the boys are expected to come again when they turn five and the girls when they turn seven.  We saw several young couples in traditional dress with their children at the shrine.

   Our second stop of the day was to the Asakusa complex which has a Buddhist temple and shopping.  The Senso-Ji Buddhist Temple is the best known temple in Tokyo and it houses Sho Kanzeon Bosatsu, who embodies the mercy of all Buddhas.  Leading up to the temple is the Nakamise-dori shopping street which was packed when we visited because it was a Saturday.

   Finally, we visited the outer areas of the Imperial Palace, where the emperor resides.  The inner palace grounds are restricted but we had a great view of the Nijubashi Bridge and saw a huge samurai statue representing loyalty and bushido, or code of conduct.

Sunday, Nov. 2: “Tokyo Tower”

   We were satiated from our day in Tokyo yesterday but, to continue the poker analogy, we were playing with house money because everything was going so well, but we were still determined to make the most out of our second day in Tokyo.  We disembarked from the NCL “Spirit” at 9:00 am, took the bus to the hotel and checked into the Sheraton to drop off our luggage.  Then we took an Uber to the “Tokyo Tower,” arriving by 11:30 am and in time to make the early tour.

   We wanted to do the Tokyo Tower by ourselves because we knew that it would be a tourist trap and we would not need a guide.  Tracey and I signed up to do the VIP Experience because we knew that we would need a guide as I wouldn’t be able to explain the sites to her.  It turned out to be a great decision because we had several guides throughout our tour; the first one sang happy birthday to Tracey and gave her a special sticker to commemorate her day.  The other guides struggled with the English language but we got through the tour through broken English and gesturing. 

   After the Tokyo Tower we went to Pizzeria Da Peppe for a combined lunch and dinner.  We found it funny that an Italian family opened a pizzeria in Japan to serve American tourists. 

Monday, Nov. 3: “Tokyo with Sachi”

   Since we were on our own we decided to hire a “Tours by Locals” guide.  Her name was Sachi and she arranged for us to have our own Uber driver for the day.  Our first stop was the Fukagawa Fudou-do buddhist place of worship.  This was the real deal with a drum ceremony that included continuous chanting.  It was not meant for tourists and it was not a show.  Sachi kept her voice low and talked to Tracey to teach her about the Buddhist traditions.  During the ceremony the monks used finger cymbals, a big seashell horn, and prayers that had been written on sheets of paper.  The monks read the prayers and then put them into a fire at the center of the temple.  We also learned that pebbles were strewn on the outside of the temple to help to cleanse the feet of the congregation before they entered the building.

   The Fukagawa Edo Museum is a life sized reproduction of a Tokyo streetscape from the Edo period (1603-1867).   Tracey could feel the houses, cooking utensils, and other daily goods.  We then visited the Rikugien Gardens to listen to live music and to walk around the pond.

   Today was “Cultue Day” in Japan, which is a national holiday to celebrate freedom, peace, and the arts.  To foster an appreciation for art, some of the streets were closed off from traffic.  Long strips of white paper were laid down in the middle of the streets so that children could paint pictures on them.  For me, one of the pleasures of travel is to people watch.  It could be as simple as watching the primary school students walking across the street in their uniforms with matching hats and backpacks; or the middle school students fist bumping me at the Peace Park.  Or it could be watching the parents taking pictures of their kids who were having a great time painting in the middle of the street.

Tuesday, Nov. 4: “Yasukuni”

   The acclaimed author, Paul Theroux, once wrote that “when  people tell you not to go to a place then that is exactly where you should go because it will be the most interesting.”  Sachi wouldn’t take us to the Yasukuni Shrine and Miwi became defensive about the shrine and initially didn’t want to talk about it.  This only made me want to see it even more.  Yasukuni is controversial because it is believed to house the remains and souls of the 2.5 million people who have died in conflicts, mainly from WWII.   When former Prime Minister Abe visited the shrine, China, North Korea, and South Korea launched official protests because some of the dead buried there had been charged with war crimes. 

   I looked upon visiting Yasukuni as being similar to going to the Normandy American Cemetery so we were determined to be as respectful as possible.  We approached the shrine and threw a coin into the offering box to make sure that our prayers get extra consideration.  Then we bowed twice and clapped twice to get the attention of the gods.  A silent prayer was said and then we clapped one more time, bowed again, and left.  We took this ritual seriously because the Japanese take it seriously and we wanted to be respectful.

   I thought that Yasukuni would be much larger because I envisioned warehouses filled with boxes that contained the cremated ashes of the war dead.  In fact, I didn’t see anything like that.  When we approached an adjacent building a monk literally ran up to us and turned us away so I can only assume that the remains were in those buildings.

   After a quick trip to the museum that is part of the Yasukuni complex, we took an Uber back to the hotel to get on the 12:30 pm shuttle bus to the airport. 

Wednesday, Nov. 5th: “Stuck in O’Hare”

   Our adventure was not quite over.  We flew into Chicago from Tokyo and were supposed to take the 6:00 pm flight to Louiisville.  During our layover I noticed that people at the gate were looking at their phones and chatting nervously.  It turns out that a UPS plane crashed in Louisville when its engine fell off, killing 13 people and forcing the city to issue a “shelter in place” order because there was the potential of deadly fumes in the air.  The national news showed dramatic footage of a huge fireball after the plane exploded.  We rebooked our flights for the next day, taking a chance that the airport would reopen by then.  It did and we had no problems with flying into Louisville.  

“Conclusion”   

   When we returned to our condo I felt unmoored from time.  I couldn’t relate to the hour, day, or even the month.  The clocks “fell back” because of the Fall time change and we just spent two days in Chicago and they are in the central time zone.  Also, we flew in from Tokyo, which is 14 hours behind Louisville.  While on the ship we skipped Halloween and when I first turned on the car radio the station was playing Christmas music.  It took a while to come out of the fog and process that we were in November of 2025. 

   We were completely satisfied with our trip to Japan.  We knew that we would only do Japan once so we wanted to make the best of it.  Because we have earned so many points and perks with Norwegian Cruise Line, we will stay with them for our big trips.  I have always insisted that we don’t go back to any of the places that we have visited before but now I am ready to let that idea go.  We already have trips planned to Athens and Rome, the last two cities on my bucket list, so I am interested in repeating some experiences.  It has become more about enjoying the luxury of being on the ship than the destination.  

“The Toilets”   

   The toilets have a fan, seat warmer, lights, automatic open and shut seats, automatic flush, and a bidet for the “front and back.”  There were water buttons that controlled the force and volume of the bidet and the flush.  The hotel that we stayed in Seoul had a remote control for the toilet in the bedrooms.  I had to guess as to which button to push but could never could figure out which one was which because the instructions were in Korean.  In the public toilet in the lobby I pushed the wrong button to flush and the bidet began to flow up.  I couldn’t get it to stop and got water everywhere.  The flow hit the door so I couldn’t get out and I got water all over my pants  After pushing all of the buttons I finally gave up and put the lid down and left.  It was like a “Lucy” sketch.

“Gatorman”   

   I’ll call him Gatorman because he was always wearing a shirt and cap from the Florida Gators football team.  Gatorman and his friend complained for the whole trip to the Imperial Palace.  Angry at our guide for beginning the narration before everyone was back from the bathroom even though what Miwi was saying was clearly filler.  Misery loves company so Gatorman’s friend complained that Miwi promised to show us the bathroom was.  It was literally right behind the bus if he bothered to look or was paying attention.  When Miwi asked, “do you have to go to the bathroom,” he replied that he didn’t.  He just wanted to give our guide a hard time.

   Right outside of the Imperial Palace was an impressive statue of a samurai soldier.  Gatorman wondered away while Miwi explained the importance of the statue and then he didn’t even go to the palace.  His excuse was that it was closed that day so we couldn’t go inside and yet Tracey and I were able to take some impressive pictures of the bridges and landscaping.   

   Gatorman said that he wanted to see the miniature Statue of Liberty that was located in Tokyo Bay.  He asked Miwi how to get there.  She said that he could walk to it from the hotel.  “How far of a walk is it?”  Miwi had to ask the bus driver and then said that it was about twenty minutes.  “Which way do I go?”  Miwi said that it was best to ask Google Maps.  “Well that doesn’t always work.”  Yet we all knew that the 70 year old man wasn’t going to walk 40 minutes to see a replica of the Statue of Liberty.  He just wanted to be a pain in the ass.

   The next day we were making our way to our hotel room when we saw Gatorman in the lobby.  He had kicked off his shoes, put his feet were on the couch, and reclined onto the pillows.  When his friend approached him, Gatorman said “Don’t talk to me now.  I am on the phone!”  He was puffed up with self importance and was happier than a pig in mud.
   

       I don’t understand why people like Gatorman travel.  These trips are enormously expensive but it was clear that Gatorman wasn’t interested in broadening his horizons.  He treated the staff like dirt and complained about everything, real or imagined.  He should have stayed home, had a beer and barbecue on his boat in the lake, and believed that the world revolved around him.  There is nothing wrong with that but don’t go on a trip if your only goal is to make yourself and everyone else miserable.

“Japanese Accents”   

   There is a disparity between the “L” and the “R” in Japan, which makes their translation pretty funny sometimes.  For example, bamboo shoots sounded like baboon shits.  Bark roof is buck dorf. Salinization is sarination.  Brackish is backish.  Shinto priest became shinto trees. Clam is cram, roof is loof, animals is animars, and palace is parace.       

“Quotes”   
• Travel is not reward for working, it is education for living. Anthony Bourdain.
• This is not the winter of my life, it is the harvest.
• People wait until their mid-sixties to travel.  By then their “knees have worn out, they get the dizzies, and are diabet.”  Denny
• The young are turning to atheism.  Their only religion is K-Pop.  They go to the concerts and scream “Oh God!  Oh God!”  Denny
• “If the blind will spit into some dirt and then put that mud on their eyes then they will see again.”  She also thought that if the blind will “ aat oranges, parsley, carrots, lemon juice, bananas and clover, that will cure their blindness”  Soda
• “We’re in Japan,” said Tracey many times with a big smile on her face.
• I gave my passport to the woman who was at the security check point and as she checked it I said, “look at the handsome devil.”  She replied, without sarcasm or irony, “oh yes, you are very handsome.”  It was so cute.
• I was sitting in the lounge, having my morning cup of coffee before I met Tracey for breakfast, when, to my amazement, the thought occurred to me that “I am happy,”  and then I felt a flush of endorphins energizing my brain. 

“The People” 
• I have heard of comfort animals but I saw a comfort robot on this trip.  There was a little old lady who held the robot to her chest and clung to it as if it were a child.
• Always treat the staff well.  Wrote a “vacation hero” for Leo, Fabio, Maria, Jin and Bella.  They post those notes on the wall in the work room.  Also, I like to fist bump the staff because they get such a kick out of it.  Bella got one because we told her that we really enjoyed the special attention that the staff gives to the handicapped.  Bella replied, “Of course we will do it for you.  We love you!”  It was cute because there was no guile and she really meant it.
• Three different men in different departments wearing make up.
• Grandson taking his 90+ year old grandfather back to Vietnam.  Grandfather must have bought a brand new suit and matching hat for the trip.  
• One of our guides was Soda who is 80+ years old and still going strong.  She is my role model because she says that she will keep working until she gets fired.

“Why Travel” 
1. We had several bad days in a row.  These cruises are enormously expensive and the travel is difficult.  I often left the excursions frustrated and angry.  I will follow through with the five cruises that we have already ordered but I think that maybe I am about done with travel.  Maybe its time to buy a dog and name her Julip.
2. 
3. As I was typing this blog I was reminded how lucky and privileged my wife and I are to be able to travel
4. 
5. This is not the winter of our lives; it is the harvest.  We are doing everything right.  Retire early and travel while still young and healthy.
6. 
7. I took the time to write all of this down in my blog, and did some additional research so I could figure out where we have been and what we had done.  As it turns out, we did a lot.  Enjoy journaling to relive the experience.
8. 
9. Could not have done this trip twenty years ago.  I have discovered a well of patience deep inside me that I never knew that I had.  And yet, without that initial drive and determination, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  And today is pretty good.
10. 
11. Different stimuli on these trips triggers different memories.  Travel gets me out of my mental rut.
12. 
13. Put some distance between ourselves and our past.
14. 
15. 80% of the world’s population has never been on a plane.  57% of Americans do not have a passport suggesting that they have never traveled abroad,  



Sent from my iPad

Brain Droppings

        I wonder, sometimes, what other people think of me.  I spend a lot of time at a local coffee shop where I sit in the same seat every day and read; always alone.  When I was a teacher I worked at my desk all of the way through my planning period and lunch and rarely did I talk to anyone.  At the gym, while lifting weights, I focus on my workout and do not engage with the others  My look is intense and severe and I know that can be off-putting to those around me.  I am older now: my eyes have lost their glimmer and appear hollow, my hair is thinning, and I have lost a lot of the energy that I had even ten years ago.  And yet the intensity is still present and that can be intimidating to other people.  I am sorry for that but I cannot change who I am or how I look.

        I am a learner and have been reading history since I was in middle school.  I already know a lot and since I have retired have dedicated myself to self-education.  When I have finished with my latest non-fiction book, I like to jot down a few notes in my iPad; I will come back to those notes later in the hopes that I can make a journal entry out of them.  If it is good enough then I will type up my notes and publish them on my blog.  This blog entry comes directly from that process.  If I don’t jot down the notes immediately then I know that I will forget it.  Besides, I can make the experience of reading a good book last longer by reliving it by writing about it.

       I have tried to make myself a better human being over the years.  For example, I know that no one wants my advice so I may as well keep it to myself.  I know my place and have learned that in order to get along with others I must avoid topics like religion or politics since I know that I will never change anyone’s mind anyway.  Who am I to give advice?  I am a retired teacher who is lucky enough to be able to afford to travel and the luxury of time to read history books.  One day melts into another and, since I do the same thing every day, there really isn’t a weekend for me.  Each day is a history of all of the other days while one week bleeds into the next without excitement or pageant.  This is not a complaint.  I have it good and I know that I have it good and 99% of the population would gladly change places with me.
 

       I am more confident in myself than I once was: I don’t stutter anymore, I have calmed down a lot, and am more patient.  It used to be that I felt like I was in a competition with everyone so I became defensive and sarcastic.  I wanted to bend others to my will.  Now I just want to get along with people because I understand how little I matter and that I can’t change anyone.  Since I can’t make a difference, I only want to enjoy the time that I have left and hope that I will be remembered fondly.
  

        Misery is caused by desire so I don’t compare myself to others because that would be the death of happiness.  Jealousy leads to misery so, if I can concentrate on my own life and eliminate everything that does not bring me joy then I can truly be happy.  Any worries or anxieties that I have I try to exorcise at the gym.  My wife and I live a minimalist lifestyle in that we have a little condo with just enough room for us to be comfortable.  A lot of my time is spent at my desk that I have positioned in the corner of our bedroom.  I like to read before dawn and have found it relaxing to hear Tracey snore in our bed next to my desk.  Some how, just knowing that someone is in the room next to me is reassuring.   

        While he was in the senate, Barack Obama said that he used to schedule an hour every afternoon just for himself so that he could think.  No meetings, no phone calls, no reports to read; just time to himself.  I am lucky that I have time to think, to suck in as much knowledge as possible.  My life is boring but monotony is a friend of thinking and learning.  Besides, I have enough confidence in myself to do nothing; after thirty five years in the classroom I believe that I have earned it.  For the time that I have left I will prepare myself for nothing and everything because nothing matters and everything matters.  My job is to hang onto my current lifestyle, to be a good steward of our savings, and to save enough so that we have something to pass down to our children.

       Socrates said that the best way to get through life is to “know thyself.”  People are their own worst enemies and so I have tried to eliminate those things in life that my me unhappy.  I don’t play video games because they frustrate me and make me angry.  Although I could easily spend hours, or even days, shooting down aliens.  But the price would be too high.  The same thing goes for gambling.  I have an addictive personality so I could burn through our life savings by trying to win that next great score.  I avoid confrontations with other people because, win or lose, the arguments always make me feel badly about myself.  Instead, I try to fill my relationships with patience and empathy.  Still a work in progress, I know that I am no saint, but at least I recognize the problem and am trying to do something about it.

      I know that this blog entry isn’t very well written and doesn’t even have a central theme but these are the ideas that I think about all of the time and I wanted to share them with you.