Retreat letters for my children

 It took me a long time to write the senior retreat letters to my children.  Since it has been ten years since my youngest graduated, I thought that it might be a good idea to type up the retreat letters and post them to my bog so that others can enjoy them.  I copied the original, hand written, letters into my journal.

Dear Grant:

I want you to know, now that you are a senior in high school, you are everything that I could hope for in a son.  You SAT scores prove that you are smart, your years as a wrestler show your athleticism and dedication, and you are just an overall nice guy.  But believe me, it was a long and hard road to get you to be the person that you are today.

Your mother and I had been trying to have a baby for over a year and a half when we finally went to a fertility specialist.  After a series of tests and procedures, you were born, and our lives had irrevocably changed for the better.  I remember that when you were a baby you were just a helpless blob who “drooled like a madman.”  You put everything that you could get your hands on into your mouth.  Also, you were constantly sick; you were at the doctor’s office at least once a week for your first year of life.  It is my firm belief that you were worth every bit of love and effort that we put into you.

My happiest memories of you were when you attended Twinbrook Preschool.  You used to scream with excitement and beat on the big picture windows when you saw me coming up the sidewalk to pick you up.  Once I was in the building you would take my hand and guide me to your cubby so that you could show me all of the artwork that you had created that day.  Before we left to go home, your teacher would stop me to tell me about all of the cute things that you had done.  For example, you had a special towel that you used for a cape and you would put it on as soon as you got to preschool.  Just by putting on that cape you were no longer Grant Frazier but became “The Weatherman.”  I still don’t know why you picked that name.  Or do you remember the time when you pretended to marry Colleen and you two walked around, arm in arm, all day?”  I really miss those days.

Now you are all grown up and a senior in high school and I could not be prouder of you.  It reminds me of what God once said of Jesus: “This is my son with whom I am well pleased.”  It also reminds me of what the comedian, Bill Cosby, said of his son when the the boy was killed by a stranger.  Cosby said of his son, “He was my hero.”  I didn’t understand that statement but now that I have a grown son I totally agree with the sentiment.  You are my hero and I am pleased with the young man that you have become.

Strength and Honor,
Love,
Your Father 


Dear Lillian:

I cannot believe that it is already your senior retreat.  Time goes by so fast.  It seems like just yesterday that we took you to Twinbrook for day care.  You refused to wear anything but a pretty dress to school, even when it was freezing in the dead of winter, because you loved to twirl around and watch your dress float up.  Also, to accessorize, you always wore your flat-bottomed black shoes because of the “clip clop” sound that they made.  You were always my beautiful angel; perfect in every way.

Perfect, that is, until someone crossed you.  One time you came crying to me at the end of the day because a little boy had thrown dirt on your pretty dress.  I said, “What do you want me to do?  Go and beat him up?”  You replied with, “No!  I want you to shoot him with your gun.”  (This is funny because the only gun that I ever owned wasn’t real.  It was a replica from the Civil War and I used when I was a re-enactor).  On another occasion, I was on my way to work but you wanted me to play on your Pogo Stick.  When I said that I could do it because I would get all sweaty before work, you called me a “big sissy.”  (It was funny because it was so out of character for you)

I always knew that you were special but it was nice to have my opinion confirmed by others.  For example, I was so proud to watch you win the “Eagle Award” at Holy Trinity.  Also, there was the time that Mr. Collard said “my best little girl is up front” when he made you the line leader.  You have always been a great kid but it was gratifying to hear others say nice things about you.

In closing, I would like to paraphrase “The Grapes of Wrath.”  My apologies to John Steinbeck.

When you finish high school and move out of the house, I’ll be there.

When you go to college and need help with starting your career, I’ll be there.
   

I’ll be there when you get married and you need for me to give you away.

I’ll be there when you have children of your own and need a babysitter.  You know that I will
           always be ready to help.

And when you’ve married the man of your dreams and live in the house that you have bought, why I will be there, too.

I love you, Button!
Have a great retreat!
Dad



Dear Virginia:

I cannot believe that it is already your senior retreat.  It seem like just yesterday that I was picking you up from Holy Trinity’s after school care.  You were always running and playing but when you saw me you would yell “Daddy” and then jump up into my arms.  That was the gift that God has given you in that you were always in a good mood and you were always running and playing.  The only time that you stopped moving was when you were sleeping.

Virginia, you are our most emotional child in that you always wore your heart on your sleeve.  Do you remember crying out of happiness when you read your first sentence?  Or when you cried out of frustration when the birds kept flying away when all that you wanted to do was to pat them on the head.  And then there was the time when you cried out of sadness when we read “Of Mice and Men” and George had to shoot Lenny.  You cried out of fear when you saw the first born sons being killed in the mini-series, “Jesus of Nazareth.”  I love how passionate you are.

You have always had a positive mental attitude and a lust for life: eager to please and a ready smile on your face.  Virginia, I am sure that you are going to be happy no matter where life takes you.  My only advise to you, as you finish high school and move on to college, is to open yourself up to Christ.  Let him into your life and he will give you meaning and purpose.

In closing, it is my personal belief that heaven will be a loop of our favorite memories all strung together and played over and over again.  We have had memories that we can share in eternity.  Memories like dancing to “Fly Me to the Moon” in Cancun.  Or when we wrapped you up in a towel after you had taken a bath when you were a baby to make a “Virginia Burrito!”  Memories like playing with our dog, Laika, and then posting silly pictures of you two on Facebook.

Once I had to leave to go out of town and I asked you if you would miss me.  You said, “Of course I’ll miss you!  We are buddies!”  That statement meant the world to me.  You have always been a good daughter, and a good friend, and I am proud of the young woman that you have become.

I love you, Punkin.
Daddy

San Diego Comic Con

 Grant and I decided to go to one last comic con.  We have been doing the cons for almost ten years and have tired of them but, before we declared ourselves done, we decided to go out big.  The San Diego Comic Con is the original con and it draws about 130,000 fans.  Also, the writers strike came on the heels of COVID so this felt like the first time in five years that San Diego had a real con.  And because this was our last con, I spared no expense to attend it.  The tickets alone cost over $2,000 and then I had to pay for the flights, hotels, Ubers, and meals.  It cost a lot of money but the payoff was to see my son in his element where he was happy and truly excited to attend the meetings and tour the exposition.

Thursday: I picked up Grant at 4:30 am and we were at the airport 15 minutes later.  Our flight was supposed to leave at 6:00 but was delayed for six hours because o a maintenance issue and a part had to be flown in from Charlotte.  Of course, we missed our connecting flight and had to wait an additional five hours in the Dallas airport for the next available flight.  After almost 21 hours of travel, we arrived at the hotel at 10:00 pm (1:00 am eastern time), and we had lost a whole day at the comic con as we were originally supposed to land in San Diego at 11:30 am.

Friday:  We were supposed to see a panel on “The Boys” but missed it because I didn’t think that anyone would line up before 9:00for a panel that started at 10:00.  I was wrong and we arrived too late to get in to see the show.  I remained humble for the rest of the con and went where ever Grant wanted to go, when he wanted to go.  We saw Bill Amend who draws the “Fox Trot” cartoon.  He was nervous at first but lightened up as he told the story of how went from earning a degree in physics to becoming a cartoonist.  The second major panel that we saw was about “Like a Dragon” where the star was flown in from Japan and who didn’t speak any English.  He had an interpreter and sat in rapt attention when they played the trailer from his show.  Finally, the star took a selfie in front of the audience, and that reminded us that appearing at a comic con is as important to the star as it is to the audience.

Saturday: I started a routine of getting up at 4:30 to be in the gym by 5:00.  After lifting weights for an hour, I would sit in the breakfast room and wait for Grant.  We would leave the hotel at about 8:00 to get to the convention center in time to get in line for the 10:00 panel.  Saturday started with the stars of “Ghosts” and then we saw Matt Groenig, the creator of “The Simpson” and “Futurama.”  Up next was a panel on “Batman: The Caped Crusader” where all of the voice actors from the television show made an appearance.  Finally, we saw the artist who created the prosthetics for the many iterations of the “Star Trek” franchise.  This last panel was so good because the artist was so excited about his craft and so happy to show off his work.  I loved his enthusiasm.

Sunday:  Our first panel was about how Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko were the co-creators of Spider-Man, Ironman, and Dr. Strange.  They were as important as Stan Lee but were not so good at self-promotion so he got the lions’ share of the credit.  The next two panels the the voice actors and the musicians from “X-Men ‘97,” the “Star Wars” cartoon series, and “Arcane.”  There was a nice moment when one of the musicians broke down and cried as he talked about composing a song for a scene where a daughter was forced to leave her father.  The musician wept as he recalled how he had his own newborn daughter in his lap as he wrote the score for the scene.  She was perfect in her innocence and goodness, and he cried in the knowledge that this little bundle of joy would some day leave him.  I teared up as he wept while telling his story because I was thinking about how my own two daughters have left me to live in Texas.

Monday:  The convention was over but we had the morning to tour San Diego as I had booked an afternoon flight.  We did the “Hop On Hop Off” trolley and got off at the Hotel Del Coronado and the Japanese Garden.  Finally, we arrived at the airport at 12:30 for our 2:30 flight.  But when our flight was delayed by 45 minutes, we missed our connecting flight in Dallas by five minutes.  The airline put us up at a hotel and after sleeping for less than four hours, we went back to the airport for our 6:30 am flight.  I was so tired that I laid down on a table in the terminal and slept for an hour.  Usually I am all about decorum but I had no more gas in the tank.

This was a hard trip; not as hard as S.E. Asia but very difficult in its own right.  Once again, I had to ask myself, as I was trying to get some sleep while laying on an airport table, why on earth do I do this to myself?  The simple answer is that I do it for Grant because he enjoys these conventions so much.  And I could not have been prouder of him for the way that he carried himself.  He could have pitched a fit when we missed the panel on “The Boys” or cracked under the pressure of the ordeal of flying home, but he didn’t, while I lost my temper twice.  What made the trip worthwhile was to hear Grant describing the comic con to Tracey when we were at lunch yesterday.  He was happy and animated and excited to share our trip with her.  It was our last con together and, even with all of the problems that we encountered, I am still glad that we did it so that we could go out big.

Non Sequitar
1. For our last meal in San Diego we went to “The Old Spaghetti Factory” where an old woman in a wheelchair asked to sit outside.  The hostess tried to explain that the outside tables could only hold four people but, even though she had a party of five that included a wheelchair, the lady insisted.  It is people like that who must drive the staff crazy because they have set themselves up for failure and certainly will complain throughout the meal about being crowded.
2. When informed that we could not get on the plane for our return trip to Louisville, the lady behind us let out a cry and then began to sob uncontrollably.  She did it again when told that there were no more flights out that evening and that we would have to spend the night at a hotel.  A wheelchair was called for her and she collapsed dramatically into it.  Later on, she clung to Grant and me so that we could help her find her way to the bus, hotel, and the airport for the following day.  Clearly, she was not used to traveling by herself.
3. I like to chat up the Uber drivers in the hope that I can learn something from them.  We had drivers from Baghdad, Lebanon, and Mexico.  Harold was a candle and scent salesman while Van tried to convince us that the FBI was in on the plot to assassinate President Trump.  We didn’t try to argue with Van but let him rant for the whole trip to the airport.   
4. I became over-stimulated at the exposition.  It was over-crowded and the noise from the booths and the lights from displays were getting to me so I sat down in the common area just to calm down and read for awhile and Grant went shopping.  You have to pace yourself when you go to the comic conventions.