Lillian and Tanner Get Married (September 28 2019)

                      Lillian and Tanner Get Married (September 28, 2019)

"Hands down, this was the bet wedding ever!"  "It was a watershed moment!"  "This weekend was one for the ages and everyone will be comparing their wedding to Lillian and Tanner's wedding!"  These are just some of the compliments that I heard and, as for me, all that I can say is that the wedding was perfect.  Nothing went wrong, and everything went right and I don't see how the weekend could have gone any better.  For example, the wedding party was an outstanding group of people, and they were so happy for Lillian and Tanner, that they stayed and danced until the lights came on at the end of the evening.  The wedding was held at The Refinery and the venue, the D.J., the officiant, and even the wedding planner exceeded our greatest expectations.  To top it all off, Grandpa Armbruster was able to attend, even though he was clearly unwell, and for that reason alone the wedding will always be memorable.

            The wedding party met at 1400 Willow on Friday evening for the rehearsal dinner.  It was a meet and greet cocktail party because Lillian wanted everyone to mingle and to not stay at an assigned table.  We practiced the choreography of the ceremony before moving on to the wedding toasts.  Tracey's toast was about how when our Aunt Lillian we promised to name our first daughter after her.   My toast started with my father at my sister’s wedding.  "He was so happy to see his oldest daughter getting married to the man of his dreams that he let his guard down.  He used a gesture that I had never seen before or since and it went something like this.  (Knead Arms and Clasp Hands).  Now that my own daughter is getting married to the man of her dreams, I can use the same gesture of pure happiness.  It is a gesture that I can use when thinking about how these two people are right for each other, and how they have sacrificed so much to be together.  For example, when Tanner moved to Savannah he drove back to Louisville every third or fourth weekend just to spend some time with Lillian.  He looked so ragged that I pulled him to the side and said to him, 'listen, you don't have to do this to yourself.  You don’t have to make this drive every third weekend.' Tanner replied, 'I have to because I just love her so much.' (Knead Arms and Clasp Hands)  The week before Lillian left for Jacksonville, she came into my bedroom and asked for a hug.  And then she cried.  She cried hard.  She was giving up her life-long friends and family to follow Tanner to Jacksonville and face an uncertain future.  And she was scared.  So she cried in my arms right before she left, something that she hadn’t done since she was a little girl.  But she was determined to make a new life with her boyfriend because she loves him so much. (Knead Arms and Clasp Hands). And as for me, the thought of these two people getting married and spending the rest of their lives together, knowing that they are perfect for each other.  (Knead Arms and Clasp Hands). And so, Harrison Tanner Hartman and Lillian Lee Frazier, I wish for you a long life together and all of the happiness that you two so richly deserve."

            After my toast was finished, my major part of the weekend was over and I was able to sit back and relax and enjoy the wedding.  My side of the family moved out to the patio next to 1400 Willow’s pool and I spent a lot of time with them to talk about the events of the day.  Meanwhile, all of the women in the wedding party agreed to spend the night and they watched “Bridesmaids” to relax at the end of the night.  They woke up early the next morning to work on their hair and make-up.  Tracey brought bagels and made mimosas for everyone.  Once the hairdresser was done with them, all of the women in the wedding party looked like Disney princesses.  We all met at “The Refinery” early in the afternoon to prepare for the photographer.  The venue turned out to be perfect for the wedding as we held the ceremony in an outside courtyard but the reception was held inside where there was plenty of air conditioning.  Three photographers kept their cameras whirring throughout the day and, almost on cue, the sky became overcast right before the ceremony and that made for even better pictures because the harsh sun was gone.  Every grouping imaginable, of the wedding party and family members had their picture taken but the highlight was posing for a photograph for just the immediate family and Grandpa Armbruster.  He is suffering from dementia but had the presence of mind to know that Lillian and Tanner were getting married.  Grandpa smiled for the camera and said, “I wish that your grandmother could be here.” It was the first time that he had talked about grandma, since she died fourteen years ago, without someone prompting him.

            The ceremony was a religious one and Jeff Fuson, who is Marsha Hartman’s pastor, was the officiant.  The wedding party included Virginia as the Maid of Honor and Connor Hartman as the Best Man.  In order, the couples of the wedding party were Marisha Abbi and Daniel Hoskinson, Katie Casale and Conrad O’Brian, and Graham Pilotte and Grant Frazier. The ring bearer was Mason Lubbers and the flower girls were Lily and Sadie Straghtiff.  Laura Schaefer, Cheryl Burnett, and Conrad O’Brian did the readings.  Lillian and Tanner wrote their own vows and they also wrote separate stories about how they met and how they came to be married.  The whole ceremony was done with a lot of class, and it included a lot of family and friends, so it couldn’t help but be memorable.

            The Bridal Entrance came right after the ceremony and I yelled encouragements as each couple was introduced at the reception hall.  Lillian and Tanner were introduced last and the D.J. played “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” as the newlyweds danced a carefully choreographed dance for everyone in attendance.  They had been practicing this dance for months and tears came to my eyes as I watched my oldest daughter dance with her husband because it was just so perfect.  The floor was opened up for dancing and, after an hour for dinner, the Maid of Honor and the Best Man gave their toasts.  Then the parents of the newlyweds were allowed to thank all of the guests for attending.  I kept my thanks brief because I “didn’t want to take any attention away from my beautiful daughter!”  The Parent Dance was next and Lillian and I were prepared for this moment because we had practiced a box step the night before.  The song that I chose was “Fly Me to the Moon” because Lillian and I danced to that tune in the middle of a restaurant at the resort that we stayed at in Cancun.  It is a special song to us because I had picked Lillian up, held her in my arms, and dance between the dinner tables.  Laura said that I looked the happiest that she had ever seen me while dancing with my daughter.  All I remember is that I was self-conscious about dancing in front of so many people and I was worried that either Lillian or I would trip over her wedding dress.  Still, we had a nice moment, and no one seemed to notice that I cut the dance short.

            Tracey says that she doesn’t know of any couple who stayed married after they disrespected each other by shoving the cake into each other’s face at the reception.  Lillian and Tanner have too much class to do such a thing and they gently cut the cake and fed it to each other.  Casey Schwisow caught the flowers at the Bouquet Toss and after she did she walked up to Laura and asked if she could marry Alex.  The whole reception was a true celebration and I felt like a kid again as I joined the wedding party on dance floor.  Soap bubbles floated down from the second floor because the venue had a machine that could produce such a spectacle.  Tanner provided light sabers as a nod to his passion and his job at E.A.  Finally, all of the guests were given sparklers and we formed an arch on the outside of the building with our out-stretched arms.  Lillian and Tanner walked through the arch and I am sure that the pictures of this moment are spectacular.  The whole wedding was done to perfection.

            And then it was over.  Everyone had left but the wedding party and they continues to dance until management turned on the lights.  I sat at a side table with Tracey, ready to go home but not wanting the wedding to be over, as I watched Lillian and Tanner dance to “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” one last time.  The pride must have shone in my eyes as I realized that my daughter had pulled off the wedding of the decade.  She was under enormous pressure from all avenues and yet she was graceful under relentless fire.  I have always loved Lillian, and have always been proud of her, but she has earned my undying respect for the way that she held herself together under such trying circumstances.  It was the best wedding ever and was definitely one for the ages.

Music for the Bride and Groom’s First Dance

You’re just too good to be true.

I can’t take my eyes off of you.

You’d be like heaven to touch.

I wanna hold you so much.

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I’m alive.

You’re just too good to be true.

Can’t take my eyes off of you.

Pardon the way that I stare.

There’s nothing else to compare.

The sight of you leaves me weak.

There are no words left to speak.

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that is real.

You’re just too good to be true

I can’t take my eyes off of you

I love you baby

And if it’s quite all right

I need you baby

To warm the lonely nights

I love you baby.

Trust in me when I say it’s okay

Oh pretty baby.

Don’t bring me down I pray

Oh pretty baby.

Now that I’ve found you, stay

And let me love you baby

Let me love you

Music from the Daddy Daughter Dance

Fly me to the moon

Let me play among the stars.

Let me see what spring is like on

Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand

In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with joy and let me sing forever more

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true.

In other words, I love you