Smothers, Mandela, RFK Jr

    I have to admit that I feel a little lost.  I am done with substitute teaching at Sacred Heart because I felt like the job had run its course.  I thought that I might like to substitute at Collegiate but, after spending a morning being interviewed and being introduced as the new substitute teacher, the principal sent me an email to tell me that I would not be hired.  I was embarrassed at being rejected, but also relieved because I really didn’t want the job anyway.  It was just delaying the inevitable and this incident slammed the door on my teaching career.  What I really wanted was to to work at a place where I felt like I was part of the community; a place where I could contribute, where I belong, and a place where I could share my gifts.  I am out of ideas as to what I should do next.  Volunteering sounded like a good idea but Gilda’s Club and Kosair Children’s Hospital do not allow you to work directly with the kids, and that is all that I wanted to do.  When asked by the guys at the gym what my next move is going to be, I simply replied that I was “going to throw all of my money on the floor and make cash angels all day.”  Sometimes that line would get a laugh.

   What I need now is a role model.  For example, Robert Kennedy Jr. could do anything that he wanted with his career since he inherited a lot of family wealth, but what he chose to do was to dedicate himself to improving the environment.  Tommy Smothers, a comedian from the 1970s, dropped out of the entertainment industry and won’t even take interviews anymore because he is only interested in yoga and self-care.  Michael Rockefeller is an example of what not to do when you have all of the time and money in the world.  He decided to spend his time doing research on the pygmies of New Zealand.  They turned out to be cannibals and Michael was eaten for his efforts.  The best example of what to do at the end of your career is Nelson Mandela.  He was a shape-shifter in that he was a boxer and revolutionary when he was young, a politician when he got out of prison, and an icon for South Africa when he retired.  Mandela would only make public appearances sporadically when he was old but he made sure that he dressed in the traditional African colors when he did attend public ceremonies.  It is going to take awhile for me to settle into this new role of being retired but I like the idea of having Mandela, RFK Jr. and Tommy Smothers to guide me through these years.
   Now that I am retired, the only people that I talk to are the group of men who arrive at the gym at 5:00 am, waiting for the doors to open.  Over time we have fallen into a relaxed relationship where we can share almost anything with the group.  So, when asked why I quit Sacred Heart, I told the guys that no one seemed to care if I stayed or if I left.  I thought, “okay, I guess that I’ll leave.”  Other quotes that I remember sharing with them are “this is an inglorious way to end a career,” and “it is better to jump rather than be pushed.”  Aside from the men at the gym, I do like to share my thoughts to my 1,500 friends on Facebook.  I wrote that “it has been months since I quit my job at Sacred Heart.  When I started, I was young and aggressive, and now I am old, the same age as Alvin Guenther when he died of cancer.”  Alvin was a friend of mine and it was hard to see him get sick but his death reminded me of how good I have it, especially since my only worry is how I am going to spend my years in retirement.