The Blind Woman and the Ironman

        The Blind Woman and the Ironman         

   I have had some wins and losses as I have made my way through life the game of life but the one accomplishment that I will always be proud of is my 34 year marriage to Tracey.  We have weathered the storm together and have taken a lot of hits over the years.  For example, we lost all four of our parents before we turned 60.  Now that all of the hard years are over, and we are transitioning to an easeful retirement, we get the best versions of each other.  No longer are we career driven or overachieving but instead are relaxed and at peace with the way our lives have turned out.  When Tracey was a lawyer and I was a teacher we both had a strong sense of purpose but I think that we are happier now than at any other time in our lives.

   I was initially attracted to Tracey because she is so smart, having learned how to navigate her world in spite of being blind, and because she was so much sophisticated than I was.  For example, she taught me words like ‘trousseau’ and opened up new worlds for me by making me look differently at things.  Her parents kept a Lincoln bed in their guest room and Tracey had to explain to me that the old saying of ‘sleep tight’ meant that a bed like that was held together with ropes and a special key was need to tighten those ropes every once in awhile.  These are small things but when put in the aggregate they made me realize that I was marrying up.  

   Part of my attraction to Tracey is that she is so vulnerable but maintains a positive mental attitude to get her across all of the obstacles that life has thrown at her.  Before we had even met I had heard about the blind girl who had joined the Louisville Jaycees, a community and service group who had organized a haunted house, and the first time that I saw her she was painting the walls of the house black.  It was her positive mental attitude that was so attractive to me.  What she could do, she did, when she could have spent her life on the sofa and watching television.  No one would have blamed her for becoming a shut in because of her handicap.  Instead, she was helping to raise money for a local charity and she was attending college.  

   The first time that I talked to Tracey was when we were taking a break from fixing up the Haunted House.  It was still summer so we were all hot and sweaty.  Tracey was paint splattered and covered in dust from her job.  When I saw her walk through the door and towards the group who had gathered in the courtyard, she had a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other and I thought to myself, ‘that’s the girl for me.’  

   While we were still dating, Tracey was finishing up her undergraduate degree from Bellarmine while I was at the University of Louisville and working towards my certification to become a teacher.  When were were first married I was doing my student teaching and Tracey went to Spalding University to get her masters.  These were the hard years.  As I started my first real teaching job, we decided to buy a house and then had three children in quick succession.  Tracey had always wanted to be an attorney and decided to go to law school while the children were still young.  I supported her all of the was and one of my proudest moments was listening to my wife as she gave the commencement speech for her graduating class.  In return, Tracey supported me with the crazy hours that I put in to training for eleven Ironman competitions.

   Now the hard years are over and we can travel like we always wanted to do.  Our trips overseas are our reward for finishing our careers on a good note.  Some couples may find it daunting to spend so much time together but that really hasn’t been an issue for us because we know each other so well.  We both can be touchy and we both know when to give the other some space.  And because we travel so well together we have been to places and done things that others can only dream of.  We have climbed the pyramids in Egypt, fed elephants in South Africa, driven a Yugo through the streets of Belgrade, and floated through the Panama Canal.  Our future plans include visiting places that we never would have tried to tackle individually; Greece, Ireland, England, and South East Asia are on our list.  I am not saying that we deserve our storybook retirement but because we have a strong marriage and a desire to live life to its fullest, we are going to appreciate everything that we have.