When well meaning friends ask me how my vacation to Southeast Asia went, and I have to remember that they don’t realize that our tour was a test of endurance as much as it was a vacation. For example, on our return trip to get back home, we left the ship at 3:00 am on Friday morning and didn’t arrive at our condo until 1:30 am on Saturday. If that doesn’t sound too bad to you then you may have forgotten that there is a thirteen hour time difference between Singapore and Louisville. A quick back of the envelope calculation suggests that we spent about thirty six hours traveling back from Southeast Asia. And yet the pleasure was with the pain as we were able to experience things that we would never have done or seen in the West. I have written a short itinerary of our trip and have kept it in a day by day format so that our journey is easier to follow.
Saturday, December 23, 2023: Ko Samui
We spent our only day in Thailand by touring three temples. The first one that we visited was the Temple of the Mummy Monk (Wat Khunaram). The Thai people believe that death is an opportunity to to be reborn into a next, and better, life. And since I don’t want to be reincarnated as a Dung Beetle, I am going to be a good person in this life. Loung Pordaeng is the name of the dead monk who is on display in an upright glass casket so that he may be worshipped. The site was disturbing for me, especially since sunglasses were put on the monks’ head in order to hide his cavernous eye sockets, but it looked like the dilapidated body was being mocked.
The second temple that we visited was the Big Buddha Temple (Wat Phra Yai) and it is the home to a 39 foot gold plated statue of Buddha. It was built in 1972 and is so big that it can be seen from several miles away and can be easily spotted from an airplane. Tracey decided to go native as she put on a sarong to receive a blessing from a local monk at the foot of the statue.
The Temple of the Happy Buddha (Wat Plai Laem) was our third and final temple for the day. It is a 98 foot high statue of a fat Buddha and it was completed in 2004. A fat Buddha represents wealth and prosperity while the long ears on the statue represents a long life. The Buddhists believe that if you give alms to the gods then you will receive happiness in return. Wat Plai Laem is a temple complex that houses many gods and many versions of Buddha.
Monday, December 25, 2023: Phu My, Vietnam
The Golden Buddha Temple is an extensive monastery and temple complex which acts as an educational and religious center. Monks are invited to use the complex as a retreat. The main temple has a huge statue of Buddha and it is surrounded by beautifully manicured gardens. I saw a monk who was determined to study his books while trying to ignore the tourists who were taking his picture. Another monk was wandering around the complex in contemplative silence.
If this had been our only stop in Vietnam then I would have been bitterly disappointed, which is why a seasoned traveler has to view these trips in the aggregate. We flew half way around the world to visit Southeast Asia and I wanted to get the most out of this trip. The temple was great but the rest of our tour was a long drive, a visit to a “typical” house of Vietnam where they tried to sell us orchids and motorcycle helmets, and we were invited to shop at a local market. Calling it a market gives it a glory that it does not deserve. The Dollar General Store was like the Mall of America as compared to this public market. Still, you take the good with the bad on these excursions and we looked upon our experiences in the aggregate as opposed to any singular attraction.
The thing that I love about travel is that you never know what is going to make an impression on you. In Vietnam, it was the motorcycles. They were everywhere, buzzing in and out of traffic, even on the sidewalks, ignoring all of the laws of self preservation. Cars are very expensive to own and motorcycles can be bought for $1,000, so everybody had them. I saw young teenagers driving them, and mothers with their children propped up front, merchants carrying their wares, and couples obviously on a date. Vietnam has a population of 94 million people, and 35 of those people are killed on these motorcycles every day, and that adds up to about 10,000 people every year. It is statistics such as this which make me appreciate my life in the U.S.
Tuesday, December 26, 2023: Saigon, Vietnam
I really didn’t know what to expect for our trip to Saigon but I could feel the excitement well up in me as we approached what was the capital of South Vietnam. When we were still a couple of miles away from the city, I could see the skyscrapers from a distance and yet there were rice fields within a stone’s throw of the luxury apartments. Tai was our guide and he took us on a ride in the canal that flows through Saigon where a traditional Vietnamese woman sang to us and we were allowed to free a bucket full of catfish into the water. While we were on our drive to the market and the post office that Eifle built, Tai gave us a history of the Vietnam War from his country’s perspective.
The Presidential Palace is where the Republic of Vietnam made its last stand. It is a complex of buildings but the main one held the governments offices and meeting rooms. We passed by the old American embassy, where the helicopters took away the last of our ambassadors and staff via helicopters in 1975. Our tour brought back a lot of memories of the end of the Vietnam War, not because I was there, for I was only thirteen at the time, but because I had seen so many documentaries on the war. Seventy percent of the Vietnamese weren’t even born at the time of the war, so the tank which crashed through the gates of the Palace, which is still on the grounds, meant little to them. Instead, it was a holiday in Saigon and many young girls took the opportunity of a beautiful day to have their pictures taken in the Palace with orchids. They wore traditional dresses and were busy reapplying their make up as we passed by them on our tour. It was weird to see our symbol of a lost war festooned with the promise of a new generation.
The problem with Saigon is that it is over-populated. The French built the city in the late 1800s and intended that it hold about 250,000 people. Today it holds about 10 million people. If you looked closely you could see traces of the old boulevards, based on the Champs Elysees in Paris, but small markets and apartment buildings have crowded out what was once a well laid out city. The French architecture is everywhere but the builders would not recognize it for what it has become. For example, two of the old apartment complexes have been turned into a museum and a market. Signs of decay, and those pesky motorcycles, where everywhere. Even the canal system was filthy with trash floating on top of the water. I think that if a Vietnam veteran were to come to Saigon today then he must think to himself, “Is this what we were fighting for?”
Wednesday, December 27, 2023: Vung Tau, Vietnam
The Buddhist Temple (Thich Ca Phat Dai) was completed in 1963 and it includes a monastery at the foot of a large hill and a huge white statue of Buddha at the top. It is an expansive complex and, while it was beautiful, it was almost impossible for a blind person to navigate. The stone staircases did not have a handrail so Tracey had to place her hand on my shoulder to get up and down the steps. The stairs were decorated with statues of white dragons, and there were several gardens to make the place look peaceful, but we were not able to get past how inaccessible the grounds were for the handicapped. We left the temple a little overwhelmed by our climb.
The White Palace was constructed as a retreat for the French governor in 1898 and it was built on the slope of a large mountain. There is always a breeze coming in from the beach which allowed the governor some relief from the heat of Vietnam. The building is three stories high and includes fabulous art and architecture. Our tour guide for the day was a man named Phi and he told us that the White Palace was used by the French officers as a retreat. They could get a weekend pass for some rest and relaxation at this glorious compound.
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday: At Sea
The “at sea” days were a trial. The excursion to Nha Trang, Vietnam had been cancelled due to the rough waters and we decided not to get off of the ship at Celukan Bawang, Indonesia, because we had arrived at the port late, the excursion was six hours long, and I wanted to pace myself for the next three days of touring. As it turned out, I was right about Celukan Bawang in that it was just an industrial city with nothing to see. If you didn’t book an excursion, there were not enough taxis to give the tourists a ride, so there were 2,000 people, with their pockets bulging with money, stuck at the dock with no way to spend it.
So now I had three days at sea to deal with. A buddy of mine from the gym said that he didn’t like the cruise ships because he found them so confining. Well, they are, but the thing to do is to stay out of your room. The gym opened at 6:00 am and I was there every morning to lift weights. Tracey and I would then go to breakfast and, while she laid out in the morning sun, I enjoyed my first daiquiri of the day. I need to be around people so when I read my book I sat in the main lounge area. When I needed a break I walked to the casino and watched the poker tournament, or I would go to the theater to watch the dance class. I don’t like to spend much time at the pool because it was so hot and there are a lot of old people wearing next to nothing and it was disgusting.
Sunday, December 31, 2023: Lombok, Indonesia
We spent much of the morning at the Sasak House. The native people of Lombok are known as Sasaks and we visited their village. The tour included watching a fight between young men who used a stick and shield in combat. We were also treated to a recital of drums, which the locals beat while dancing. We saw the traditional dwellings, where the roofs are still made with palms, and then a community building that was in the process of being covered in cow dung to help with its preservation. One lady allowed me to take her picture while she cooked her rice dinner and posed in front of her bamboo wall. It was all pure schtick but we enjoyed it thoroughly.
In a study on contrasts, we left to Sasak House to visit the Pullman Beach Resort. It is a first rate hotel built on the beach and included all of the amenities, like suites with private pools, and was meant to compete with the properties in Phuket. We were invited to use the running trails or spend some time on the beach. However, there were only seven people on this tour and the minimum was supposed to be eighteen to make it worthwhile to the Pullman. The end result was that the resort served us enough food for more than twice our number. I thought that the rice and noodles and beef were our meal but then the servers kept on bringing out new courses including pizza, soup and salad, and then four different desserts. After witnessing the poverty of Indonesia, it was hard to not feel guilty about eating so much, and wasting a lot of it, in a land that has so little.
Monday, January 1, 2024: Benoa, Bali, Indonesia
The Mengwi Royal Temple was built as a place to worship the ancestral spirits of the kings and was named a UNESCO world cultural heritage site in 2012. It is a royal family temple, built on flat land with a fish pond surrounding it, so it looks like it is drifting on water. We saw statues of the Buddhist gods like Vasudhara (goddess with six arms who represents compassion), Ganesha (god with the head of an elephant which symbolizes strength) and Sun Wukong (the monkey god who represents devotion). I love to take pictures of the places that we have been to on our tours, and then write about them, but neither pictures nor the written word can describe the beauty of the Mengwi Royal Temple. As always, my only criticism of being at places like this temple is that I wish that we could have spent more time there. Many of the sites that we have visited are tourist traps and are cheap imitations but this was the real deal. I would have liked the opportunity to just be present for awhile to take in the beauty of the architecture and landscaping of the place.
Tanah Lot means “Land by the Sea” and it is a temple that sits on a large offshore rock which has been shaped continuously over the years by the ocean tide. In fact, when the tide comes in, one of the temples is inaccessible because it is literally surrounded by water. The complex is purportedly protected by a giant sea snake. Since it was the first day of the new year, a lot of locals were at the temple because the grounds are so pretty and there is plenty of shade which makes it nice for leisure time. Our tour began, and ended, early so that we could avoid the afternoon heat and the traffic. While that makes a lot of logistical sense, I felt rushed and, just like at Mengwi, I would have liked to have spent more time taking in the greatness of this special place.
Tuesday, January 2, 2024: Benoa, Bali, Indonesia
Our first stop was at a traditional family compound, which was a large lot surrounded by a stone wall. It was filled with several small structures, some of which held mini-temples for their gods. We also went to the Bali Cultural Center to watch a play but I couldn’t figure out the plot and since I had no idea what was going on, I couldn’t describe it to my wife. The beautiful dancers and the amazing costumes made this side trip worthwhile, however. Finally, we went to the aviary where we had birds perched themselves on our arms. It made for a nice moment and I have several great pictures of us interacting with the birds.
Indonesia is 80 percent Muslim. Benoa is a city on the large island of Bali and the majority of the people on Bali are Hindu. Because of their strong religious faith, there is an elaborate Spirit House in front of major establishments, like a hospital or a condominium building, while lesser Houses are in front of residences and small businesses. The Balinese believe that their gods reside in the Spirit Houses and that is why they are everywhere. They also have huge Hindu statues of their gods at major intersections and in the middle of the roundabouts on the busy streets.
Thursday, January 4, 2024: Singapore
Our final excursion was in Singapore, the setting for the movie “Crazy Rich Asians,” and we saw some of the locations from where the film was shot. The pictures that I took of us in front of the Marina Bay Harbor look like they were professionally made for a postcard. The marquee building is a casino and hotel combined but it is three buildings standing together and it looks like someone had laid a giant surfboard across all three to connect them together. The bay also includes skyscrapers, a mall, and the giant Merlion Park statue, which has a lions’ head on top, a fish body on the bottom, and it spews out water from its mouth. The whole scene was so beautiful that is hard to describe.
At the center of Singapore is Harmony Street, which earned its name by being a home to a Methodist Church, a Hindu Temple, a Buddhist Temple, and a Jewish synagogue. We took a brief bus tour of Singapore that included Harmony Street, Little India, Chinatown, and a Muslim neighborhood. Our guide let us off the bus for awhile so Tracey and I visited a couple of shops which allowed her to feel the mini statues of the numerous Hindu gods. Another thing that I noticed is that since cars are so expensive is Singapore, there was comparatively light traffic, and I didn’t see a single motorcycle of the road the whole time that we were in the city.
We have been back from our cruise to Southeast Asia for a week and we are feeling really good about having completed it. At the very least, this cruise has given us bragging rights because we have done things, and been to places, that most people can only dream about. Sure, it was difficult, but anything worth doing is, and I think that the pleasure was worth the pain. If someone were to ask me if I would do it all over again, my fast answer would be, “Yes! In fact, we just signed up to do a similarly grueling trip in the Baltic for the summer of 2025!” Life is worth living. Let’s go live some of it!
The Guides
Oye Oye was our guide in Ko Sumui and she could not have been sweeter. For example, she sang to us at the end of our tour and it was a nice moment for everyone on the bus. It is natural for the tourists to ask personal questions to the guides, which they usually deflect, but Oye Oye was just a kid and didn’t mind sharing. She works six days a week; two at Ko Samui and four at Phuket, which is a six hour bus ride for her. Life is hard and Oye Oye turned to alcohol for relief but gave it up when she blacked out and couldn’t remember how she had driven her car home. Since then she obtained the Buddhist philosophy of B.C.D., which stands for Born Choose Die. You decide whether you are going to be happy or not and Oye Oye decided to choose happiness. She was just so open and honest that I gave her one of our U. Of L. coasters with the cardinal bird on it and Oye Oye seemed truly honored to receive it.
Bin was our guide in Phu My and he was only concerned with getting a large tip. We didn’t learn anything about Vietnam because he wanted to give us a comedy routine. He hoped that we would give him more than a five dollar tip because he wanted to feed his family and to buy a new car. The tip should be in Vietnamese currency because he didn’t want to have to spend all afternoon in line at the bank to exchange our money. To help out with this process, he offered to exchange our money, but he didn’t explain the rate of transfer so I am sure that he made a tidy profit from the transaction. He took some of the tourists to a restaurant in the market where I am sure that he received a kickback for bringing in customers. His comedy routine turned weird when Bin mentioned that the Vietnamese Viagra is snake oil, or rice wine, which is 45 proof when you drink it. In spite of all of this, I gave Bin a tip, which he immediately counted right in front of me, something that a tour guide should never do.
Quotes
• I dressed up in a native crown from Indonesia. I leaned over and told Tracey, “If I begin to die please remove this from my head!”
• In the same scene I was made to wear a sarong. I told Tracey that “the last time that I wore a dress was at a Bachelors party and that was a wild night!”
• I had 65,000 people view my TikTok on retirement. “If I do this a couple more times then I can claim to be an influencer!” Marcia is a friend that Tracey made on the cruise and she asked that if I became an influencer, would I still talk to her. I said, “No, I won’t. I’ll put on airs!”
• “Who is blind?” Said the guy from Cuba. He had talked to us for ten minutes but never suspected that Tracey cannot see.
• Cindy asked our guide how she managed to look so young. “I lather on the coconut cream when I get out of the shower,” our guide replied. Cindy said “I’ll have to try that when I get home.” Cindy’s father said “It’s too late for you.”
• “I’m going swimming, aren’t I Daddy!” Said the little girl on the way to the pool. “Yes, everybody! She is going swimming” said the amused but beleaguered father who was taking his daughter to the pool to give his wife a break. The little girl was so cute in her little pink hat and the bright purple floaties on her arms.
The Problem with Old People
• I am beginning to lose faith in my fellow man, especially old people. They are at their worst when they travel. At least, I hope that they are not like this when they are home
• They were complaining all of the time: about the stops on excursion, waiting in line, not being told to bring a passport even after it was announced and it was in the bulletin. They always want to eat or drink but so overweight that they can hardly move. They talk during the presentation and then ask questions about what the guide had just covered.
• When asked him nicely to get out of the handicapped spot, the old man declared himself handicapped and refused to move. He called me an asshole under his breath and I later saw him sprint up a flight of stairs so that he could be first on the bus.
• One old lady was upset because the guide stated that we were going to swing by a famous hotel and we didn’t do it. She said, “I’m going to tell the cruise director” in such a way that she sounded like a moody teenager who had been deprived of her iPhone.
• We had just finished a grueling day at Ko Samui and the tender line to get back to the ship was so long that it would have taken us an hour and a half to get back. Fortunately, a member of the crew saw Tracey’s cane and took us out of line and sent us on the next tender. An old woman, who was on the same tender, instead of being appreciative for the extra service, said “That was a waste of time.” She either didn’t understand, or didn’t care, that we had just been rescued and took the absolute wrong attitude about being saved.
Good Things about travel.
• As an experienced traveler, I find that I have developed the patience of an older man in that I take the good with the bad and appreciate our good fortune to be able to travel at all.
• It was such a relief when it was over. I couldn’t wait to get there and then I couldn’t wait to get back. Travel makes me appreciate my life in Louisville.
Bad Things about Travel.
• The ship was rocking so badly that our excursion to Naha Trang, Vietnam, was cancelled and the ship put barf bags at the top of all of the stairs in case there was an emergency
• Internet doesn’t work on the ship
• Rude passengers who treat the staff like dirt
• I eat too much and drink too much and am filled with self loathing
• Visiting these places that I have dreamed about takes away their power and their magic. I no longer want to visit Australia and Japan, for example.
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