35th Anniversary

      Hollywood has made a lot of movies over the years where the plot is about what happens to us after we die and the impact of old memories on our psyche, or our soul and spirit.  In the under-rated movie, “Solaris,” for example, George Clooney’s character is reunited with his long dead wife while he resides in a space station.  Rheya had killed herself a few years before and the two can only meet again while he is asleep and dreaming.  Along the same lines, in the movie “Star Trek Generations” Captains Kirk and Picard are trapped in a space-time continuum.  Kirk gets to ride his favorite horse from his childhood and Picard spends time with the nephew whom he has never met.  The two captains are promised eternal life where all they have to do is to relive their best memories.  Finally, at the end of the movie “Titanic,” Rose dies of old age and after her death she is transformed back into her teenage self and meets her lover back on the ship.  As you walk out of the theater, you are left with the impression that Jack and Rose will spend an eternity filled with love and happiness. 

   I wonder if this is what heaven is like.  The afterlife must be filled with the unmitigated joy that we have when we ride a horse for the first time or when we spend special moments with our family.  I wonder what my heaven will be like.  What memories do I want to spend eternity with and who will share those memories with me?  I guarantee that my dog, Sonnailles (pronounced So Nay) will be by my side.  I always had problems making friends while growing up so Sonnailles and I spent hours playing together in the woods behind our street.  There were many times when we went to Saint Matthews Episcopal Church because they had swings and a merry-go-round.  Sonnailles became my best friend because she was always so full of life and was always willing to play with me.  It is the image of a boy and his dog, whiling away the summer days with nothing to do but happily spending time together, that I would like to spend eternity with.
   

     Of course, there have been many happy memories since Sonnailles.  There was the night when I proposed to Tracey, for example, or the day when we were married.  Then there was the pure and blinding joy of watching my three children being born.  They have all three become fine adults so it is unexpected that my best memories of them is from when they were very young.  Grant was just a year old when we took him to the Ocean Ranch in Florida.  What made it so special was that the hotel made up some of my happiest memories as a child because that is where the Frazier family spent our vacations together.  Now I took my own son to those same sandy beaches where we took long walks together and, because he was so young, I hoisted him up on my shoulders and he held my hands for support.  Lillian is my second child and, whenever I had a day off from work, I liked to volunteer to read to my children’s class at Holy Trinity.  After I had finished reading on one of my visits, I remember Lillian and her best friend, Sarah Humphrey, dancing and laughing while they spun around me.  Lillian was so proud and happy that I was her father that she expressed her love through dance.  It was a beautiful moment.  And then there is Virginia, who always wore her heart on her sleeve and who would launch herself into my arms when I picked her up from after school care.  She would enthusiastically yell “Daddy!” and then wrap her arms and legs around me tightly.  It made my day.  I love my wife and children so much that it only makes sense that my happiest memories revolve around them.  It is with these memories that I want to spend my eternity.
   

     I have always believed that it is the small moments in life that makes it worth living.  These moments are not isolated from our daily existence but are melded together by the days of our lives.  It is like a string of Christmas lights, strung together by special moments and the wire is the continuum of our time together.  And so my heaven will be those lights and they will replay in a loop throughout eternity.  Slowly, the image of trailblazing with Sonnailles in the woods will come shining through.  And then I will remember leading the hikes and becoming the head lifeguard while working as a counselor at Camp Tall Trees.  My proudest moments at Sacred Heart was when the kids cheered for me at the student versus faculty volleyball game.  Finally, there is my family and the joy that Tracey and I shared together as I asked her to marry me at the Falls of the Ohio.  I chose that spot so that she could remember the sound of the water going over the Falls and that sound would always trigger happiness in her.  I remember that everyone was amazed that we memorized our wedding vows to each other at the alter of the Church of the Ascension.  We recited them in front of three hundred of our friends and family members and it was the best wedding ceremony that there ever was.  And then there is the image of me holding my three children after they were born at Norton Children’s Hospital.  As babies, they were so helpless and so completely dependent on us and so beautiful.  It has been rewarding to watch Grant, Lillian, and Virginia, grow up to be adults who are strong and proud and smart.  And then the loop starts all over again as I am running through the woods with Sonnailles right beside me and we …    


Note:  the intended audience for this blog is my wife.  As  part of my gift to her for our 35th wedding anniversary, I will read it out loud to her to celebrate our marriage.  She will cry and I will be happy as we share one more small moment that makes life worth living