South Africa

      Monday, September 12, 2022:  We flew from Atlanta to Johannesburg, a flight that lasted fifteen hours and forty minutes, the longest flight available.  Everyone on the tour was a little punchy after the flight but the River Palm Resort, which just reopened in January, was worth the journey.  Each room had a private balcony overlooking the Zambezi River where we were able to watch the monkeys play on the lawn.  At the end of the day we attended a one hour lecture on the adventures of David Livingstone, the famous explorer who was the first white man to travel the interior of South Africa.

   Tuesday, September 13, 2022:  When we arrived at Victoria Falls, there was a local dance troupe that dressed up in Zulu outfits and welcomed the tourists.  When I walked up to drop a tip into their jar they motioned me to join them.  After I posted a video on Facebook, a friend of mine replied, “Jeff, you are the whitest guy I know,” because I danced so poorly and had no rhythm whatsoever.
   Victoria Falls is one mile wide and 360 feet high and is located between Zimbabwe and Zambia.  Our driver, Lucky, gave us a briefing of what we were about to see and then we took a long walk to take in the view.  Words cannot describe how beautiful the Falls were and we did our best to appreciate the moment.  On the opposite side of the Falls were pools of water which tourists could swim in and they were precariously close to toppling over the ledge to fall off the side.
   After Victoria Falls, we visited a local market where artists sold their wares.  Our main guide, Robin, helped Tracey, my blind wife, feel the life size carvings of a kudu, water buffalo, and a rhino.  At the end of the day we were treated to a river cruise where we saw hippos in the water and crocodiles and elephants on the shore. 

   Wednesday, September 14, 2022:  We got up early and wished the people who were taking the morning helicopter flight over Victoria Fall a good trip.  From the River Palm resort, we took a three hour flight to Cape Town, and checked into the Table Bay Hotel.  This is a five star hotel overlooking the harbor and situated next to the Victoria and Albert shopping mall.  Since most of the day was taken up by traveling, Tracey and I were happy to stay in the hotel for dinner.  The food was great and we were pacing ourselves, trying to relax and enjoy the moment.

   Thursday, September 15, 2022: The cable car ride up to the top of Table Mountain was interesting because the floor of the car rotated so that all of the passengers had a full 360 degree view of Cape Town.  We arrived early because, in the peak season, it can take up to four hours waiting in line to get onto the cable cars, and we wanted to avoid that waste of time.  Once we were at the top of the mountain, Des, our other guide, stayed with Tracey and helped her feel the two 3D maps on top of the mountain.  the first map was about the mountain and the ridges, known as “The Twelve Apostles,” which were adjacent to the mountain.  The second 3D map was about the whole city of Cape Town and the group of mountains which surrounded the city.
   After our tour of Table Mountain, we drove to the Groot Constantia winery, the oldest wine estate in South Africa, for a wine tasting event.  After our tour we broke for lunch and Christopher Brand, the author of “Mandela: My Prisoner.  My Friend,” gave us a lecture on what it was like to interact with the great man.

   Friday, September 16, 2022: Baboons blocked our entrance to the Cape Point National Park, which is located next to the Cape of Good Hope, so we took a few minutes to watch them play and dig for seeds.  It was a little gross because the baboons turned their backs to us and hung their butts in the air so I said to Des, one of the main guides, “can’t they put some pants on those things.”  He laughed at my little joke.
   After lunch we went to Boulder’s Beach to watch the penguins and rounded out the day by visiting Diamond Works where Robin arranged for Tracey to get her own stone-cutting tour.  On the way to the beach, Des pointed to a park and said, “Do you see the statue of the Doug?”  We were confused and asked if he could repeat the question.  “Do you see the statue of the Doug?”  Do you men the statue of the dog?”  “Yes,” replied Des.  I said, “You have to put a Kentucky spin on your accent,” so Des replied with a Southern accent, “Do y’all see the statue of the Dawg?”  Pam laughed and said, “You went a little too far down South!” 

   Saturday, September 17, 2022:  We had been having a great time and we hadn’t even been to the highlight of the tour, which was the Kapama Private Game Reserve.  Within the first two hours of being on the reserve we saw water buffalo, giraffes, impalas, and zebras.  An elephant walked right up to our Jeep and its massive tusks were only three or four feet away from my face.  I became nervous because my only thought was that if the elephant wanted to charge at us to do us bodily harm then there was absolutely nothing to stop it.  The final great moment of our first day at the park was when we got to see a male and female lion mating.  It was a nice moment for Tracey because she could hear the couple growling and mewing with satisfaction. 

   Sunday, September 18, 2022:  We spent the morning at the Herd Trust, a place for wayward elephants to rehabilitate.  The only thing that separated us from the elephants was a stone wall and Tracey was initially reticent to touch the huge animal.  By the end of the experience, however, she was stuffing oranges into the Elephant’s trunk.  Since my wife is blind, we have to find a way for her to use her other senses in order to enjoy the trip.  Tracey could hear the elephant open its mouth, blow the oranges into its gullet, and chew.  The noise that the elephant made was like the sound effects from an “Alien” movie.  By the time that we left the Herd Trust, Tracey was totally satisfied because she got to feed and pet an elephant and our visit could not have gone any better.
   Lawrence was our guide and he liked to say that he had many boxes to open.  It was as if each encounter was a surprise gift.  Our gift on the safari for Sunday was to see a leopard cub in a tree feeding on an impala.  The mother leopard had left the cub alone to feed and it was brutish, so real, that I could not help but to appreciate how raw nature is.  At the end of the safari, Lawrence said, “I have no more boxes to open,” because we had seen the best of the Kapama Game Reserve.

   Monday, September 19, 2022:  The reason why you should travel is because you never know what type of new experience will be for you to experience.  My favorite memory from our South African tour will be of visiting the Mmakoma Crèche School for Orphans.  The University of Louisville donated $2,000 to the orphanage as well as some U of L swag.  As we pulled into Crèche we could hear the kids cheering us as we arrived in our Jeeps.  I don’t know who was more excited, the kids or us, as we gave out the t shirts and the sunglasses to the orphans.  Robin asked Tracey to hand out the sunglasses and the orphans were instructed to clap their hands twice so that my wife knew where to place their gift.  
   South Africa is 80% black, with most of the white people residing in the urban areas, and I am sure that these orphans had never seen a white person before because the school was in a rural area.  There was one little boy who had screamed throughout the whole experience so his teachers had put him in time out in one of the classrooms.  I didn’t know this and I walked by the classroom and I wanted to say hello to the little boy who was being comforted.  As soon as he saw me he started to scream because I was the tall, white skinned, blue eyed devil who must have occupied his nightmares.
   In our safari, we saw a pride of ten elephants at the watering hole.  Two of the younger elephants were butting heads and rough housing.  Lawrence said that this was a sign that the young elephants were ready to peel off and start their own pride.  Later on the safari, a lone lion walked by our Jeep and Ron, one of our fellow tourists, said that “I could have reached out and petted him!”  This safari ruined the rest of the trip for us because I could not see how anything could have gotten any better that seeing teenage elephant fighting or a lion walking within petting distance.

   Tuesday, September 20, 2022:  Both of the safaris were a bust but my thought was that I had seen everything that there was to be seen so I wanted to enjoy riding in the bush in a Jeep.  I sang “Plastic Jesus” and “Feeling Groovy” to myself, over and over again, because those two songs always seem to put me in a good mood.  Meanwhile, I tried to stay in the moment and appreciate the fact that I was on a dream trip in South Africa and almost anyone in the U.S. would gladly trade places with me.  We did one more safari on Wednesday morning before we flew home.  



Quotes
• Steven Smith said, “Our guide told us that you can tell the difference between a male and female giraffe by tasting their poop.  A males’ is sour while a females’ is sweet.”  And then the guide challenged him to eat a pellet of poop and guess the gender of the provider.  “I’ll do it if you will,” and the two men began to munch on the poop.  I said, “I’ll bet the guide had some Raisinettes hidden in his pocket and slipped those in his mouth instead of the poop.  He’s probably back at the lodge right now, bragging to his buddies, and saying, ‘You’ll never guess what I got one of the tourists to do today!’”  Steven laughed at the idea that he had been set up to be the punchline but then a look of concern crossed his face as he must have worried about being set up.
• I told Duane that my favorite Hemingway quote is that “Good fortune is light as a feather but most men are not strong enough to carry it.”  Duane replied, “Did Hemingway say that before he blew off half of his face with a shotgun?”  It was a dark comment but so quick and on point that I laughed and laughed in spite of myself.
• In a feel good moment, after we had given the orphans their gifts at Crèche, Chris started singing “My Old Kentucky Home.”  After the song was over I said that it “was nice to hear our state song in Africa.”  David, an African-American man, replied, “Not for all of us.”  Of course, he was right, and we need to find a new state song that doesn’t offend a large part of our community.       
• The man in front of me during our trans-Atlantic flight looked like he was crazy.  He had shaved his head, had a long goatee, and looked like he had just been released from prison.  The crazy man kept rocking back and forth so that his pillow fell back and landed on my lap.  Sometime during the night, the ex-con turned his big ugly face towards me and aggressively told me to give him his pillow back.  I wanted to say, “Look, Pal, it was your fault that this pillow landed in my lap and if you want it back then you should ask me nicely.”  Wanting to avoid a confrontation, I instead said, “Yes Sir.  And would you like for me to wash and iron that pillow for you?”
• The lady whose plane landed before us at the Kapama Game Reserve said that her plane had to circle the runway three times to make the roaming animals clear the runway.


Non Sequitar
• I worried myself sick over my health problems and thought that the long flight would exasperate them but, as it turns out, none of my problems proved to be a concern.
• We travel with the university because we know that we will have the best of experiences with that group.  I don’t have a bucket list but instead will travel with the university wherever they go because I know that I will have a great experience.
• Part of the fun for me is to think about these tours as one big puzzle and trying to figure out who my fellow passengers are.  These people are the real deal.  For example, Scott Brinkmanship and Jim Rogers are on the board of directors for the University of Louisville and are on the search committee for a new president.  Danny Howard is an eye surgeon.  Steve Smith and Ed Bornstein have their own law firm.  Tracey and I were the youngest passengers on this trip and there were all sorts of role models who taught how to age well and enjoy life.